Mischief Managed
by Bluemuffin22
Summary: Everyone's heard about the Marauders... but have you ever heard about their adventures during school? Short drabbles upon the school lives of our favourite troublemakers! Today's Drabble: In which Myrtle develops a crush...
1. Of Spying and Libraries

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

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A pair of binoculars peered through the crack of the large red sofa, magically enhancing as the person zoomed in. A lone, messy haired boy looked peculiar as he crouched behind the couch, tightening the grip on his navy blue binoculars. The subject of the boy's nosiness was Lily Evans - Gryffindor redhead extraordinaire.

James Potter didn't exactly know why he was spy – er, _watching_ Lily Evans, but he made no move to stop. He guessed he was doing it out of pure boredom. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, his best mates, were studying for their Transfiguration Exam in the library. They had asked James to come along, of course, but the boy blatantly refused and told them that he had something 'Super important to do, guys!'

That was lie, of course. James Henry Potter, in all fourteen years of his life, had a secret-that-was-too-secret-to-tell.

He was afraid of libraries.

Now, before you go running off to your nearest librarian, blabbing his secret-that-was-too-secret-to-tell, you should know that this was not something James liked. Sure, he may come off as a cool guy, with cool friends and a just woke up hairdo, but contrary to popular belief, James actually enjoyed studying.

Well how else do you think he got superb marks?

James studied practically everywhere – in class (with Professor Slughorn breathing down his neck asking him why in the world he was studying Charms in Potions. He liked to think of this as a skill, you see), in the Great Hall (sometimes Dumbledore's speeches get a tad boring), underneath his bed sheets, ('No, Sirius, I am not doing _that_! Get your brain out of the gutter, why don't you?'), and once, when he had too much butterbeer to drink, during a party.

But James wouldn't even dare to put a toe over the school's library's threshold.

You see, when James Henry Potter was five years old, his mother took him to the local library to fetch some books about flowers. She had wanted to plant a garden in their backyard, but didn't know where to begin. James, being the curious five year old he was, asked to tag along and his mother happily obliged thinking little Jamesie wanted to be apart of her dream of being the best gardener in the world.

James didn't even know what gardener meant.

Anyway, once they reached the old library, Dorea Potter told her son to stick close and not to wander away. James held onto his mother's dress as they moved along the different aisles, flitting through books. Suddenly, something green caught onto the bespectacled boy's eyes and he looked up to see a mascot figure entertaining a group of kids sitting on colourful pillows as the costume figured told a story.

"Mum, can I – " James' question fell on deaf ears because his mother was talking to a librarian. James shrugged, thinking he'd be back before his mother noticed he was gone, and sat on a blue pillow as the mascot finished his story. The children left and James left to go find his mother. But she wasn't there. He double checked the aisle he had left her in, but Mrs. Potter had gone. James had run along all over the library, crying hysterically as he did. At the time, the shelves looked way too big for the small library and the books gigantic. James thought the walls were closing in on him as he backed into a corner, hugging his sides. A minute before James Potter fainted from fright; his mother swooped in, hugging him and telling him it was all right. But James would never forget that moment, making him library phobic.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?"

James snapped out of his reverie as he quickly glanced up to the figure looming over him. Sirius Black arched an eyebrow as he stared down at his best mate, looking utterly confused.

"Shhh!" He hissed, pulling Sirius down by the arm. "Do you want them to hear you?"

"Them?" Sirius practically shouted. He, unfortunately, hadn't mastered the art of tact like his friends. "Wait – are you _spying_?"

James clamped a hand over the boy's mouth, looking around to see if anyone heard. "Shut up!"

Sirius removed the hand off of his mouth, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "We _are _spying! Hold on, I'll be right back!" He sprinted up the boy's staircase and returned minutes later, wearing a black suit.

The girls in the Gryffindor common room sighed wistfully as Sirius shot them a smile, winking cheekily and doing the 'call me' motion with his hands. He sauntered behind the red couch, stooping down. "What?" He asked, looking baffled.

James gave him a look.

Sirius looked down at his attire. "You mean this old thing? I just, er, found it lying around and, uh, thought it'd go with the mood … heh heh."

James gave him another look.

Sirius coughed. "Right. So, who are we spying on?"

"No one," James answered quickly … too quickly.

Sirius thought he answered to quickly, too. "No one, eh? Are you sure it's not – " He grabbed the binoculars peering to the general direction James was staring at. "Lily Evans?" James mentally face palmed.

Lily Evans, hearing her name being called, looked around confusedly. Arching an eyebrow, she shrugged standing up, and followed her friends through the portrait hole.

"They're getting away – quick!" Sirius flipped over the couch, and sprinted out of the portrait hole, in pursuit of the unsuspecting girls.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," James muttered as he followed his friend.

* * *

"Dun-dun dun-dun! Dun-dun daaaa daaaa!" Sirius crooned, doing an impressive somersault. James leaped over a first year, landing on his feet. This would have been impressive, had he not slipped on a banana peel that was lying on the floor. Sirius, catapulting over a suit of armor, looked back to see who had fallen, and crashed on the floor – pulling the armor down painfully with him.

"OUCH!" He wailed, throwing the helmet across the hall and picking himself up.

James steadily got up on his feet. "You're telling me! Who leaves banana peels on the floor? Seriously! Who the hell does that anymore?"

"Heh heh … Siriusly … heh heh …" Sirius sniggered at his own pun, and James joined along, but snapped out of it, realising something, "Hey, where'd they go?"

Sirius blinked. "C'mon!" They dashed across the corridor, turning several corners until they caught sight of them – going inside the library.

James stopped right away, his eyes widening as he made a connection.

Me + Library = fear. Me + fear = hyperventilating. Hyperventilating + Sirius = more ammo for blackmail. Sirius + blackmail = self-destruction. Self destruction = BAD

Instead of having to explain why he couldn't go inside the library to continue their spying, Sirius seemed to understand.

"Don't worry, mate. We can do this some other time, if you want."

"What are you talking about?" James asked, blinking rapidly and trying to look like he wasn't hiding anything.

Sirius smiled, as if he knew something he didn't – which he probably did. "I know you're afraid of libraries."

James' jaw dropped. "WHO – WHAT – WHERE – WHEN – WHY – HOW – "

Sirius shrugged, turning around and heading back to the Gryffindor common room. "You really shouldn't leave your diary lying around, mate. You know I snoop."

"SIRIUS!"

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**A/N: **Hope you guys liked this chapter. Leave a review to tell me what adventures they should go on next!


	2. Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Danger ous-Ink

Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Dangerous-Neon-Ink

"I'm afraid you aren't going to make it, Mr. Black."

There was a collective gasp, as everyone's head swiveled over to the boy sitting up in one of the Hospital Wing's cot.

Madame Pomfrey, fresh out of Healing School, stifled a giggle as she tried to look stern in front of the second year boys. Sirius Black was covered in bright green ink after a prank on the Slytherins had gone wrong. This had not been the first time he and his friends, the Marauders they had dubbed themselves, had taken a trip to the Hospital Wing because of a prank. The whole school suffered, as well. Students bloating to the size of balloon after drinking pumpkin juice, Hufflepuffs that only spoke in rhyme, Professors that randomly awarded points to Gryffindors because they were too awesome not to. Madam Pomfrey had seen it all in the last six months she had worked there.

So that was why the young Healer decided to do the one thing she had thought she would never do:

Pull a prank.

James Potter's eyes widened considerably behind his glasses as he started to sputter: "What do you mean? It's just ink!"

The Healer shook her head sadly. "It's not just ink, Mr. Potter. This is Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Dangerous-Neon-Ink. Did you boys read the label on the bottle? It said that if this is put on skin, the person will perish as fast as you can say hippogriffs can fly!"

Remus Lupin, the group's bookworm, frowned. "I don't think that's accurate, Madam Pomfrey. We bought it at Zonko's and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't sell us Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Dangerous-Neon-Ink."

"Er, that may be correct. But, did you boys read the paper? There was a mix up on the products. The body paint and Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Dangerous-Neon-Ink looked so much alike, so they accidentally switched. They're doing a recall as we speak!"

"So I-I'm really going to d-die?" Sirius whimpered, looking down at his bright green skin splattered with black dots.

Madam Pomfrey nodded slowly.

Sirius threw the covers off of him, standing up. "All right, I'll be upstairs. I want to say goodbye to everyone." He walked away, shoulders slumping as his fellow Marauders bid the Healer goodbye.

For a second, Madam Pomfrey wanted to call off the whole thing and tell the boys she was just kidding. But then she looked at her office door, grimacing at the spray painting the boys had done a week ago. The horrid pink clashed with the brown of her door.

She smirked as she fixed up a third year's arm; _this is going to be fun._

* * *

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Peter Pettigrew squeaked, cupping his hands around his mouth. The common room quieted down and the students looked to find the source of the noise.

"Good job, Pete," Remus Lupin said, patting his small friend on the back. Peter blushed proudly.

"Oi, what is it?" A burly fifth year asked, cracking his knuckles.

Remus gulped. "Hurry up, guys!" He hissed at the stairs to the boy's dormitory. A few seconds later, James walked down, supporting Sirius' side, as the boys descended down the stairs.

The whispers started at one:

"What happened to him?"

"What do you think they're gonna say?"

"His skin is GREEN!"

At the moment, Sirius hopped off the bottom step, and with help from his friends, climbed on top of a nearby table. Clapping his hands, he cleared his throat. "Hello, fellow classmates. I have just been informed they I am going to die, so before you, I leave a will." He took out a scroll of parchment and unrolled it. "To Peter, I give you all my socks and that rock I found in the forbidden forest."

Peter wiped away a tear.

Sirius continued. "To Remus, I give you all my school books and that gigantic bar of chocolate I've been trying to finish since November."

Remus shook his head, sniffling.

"To James, I give you … wait, I don't have anything else … er, I give you whatever is under my bed and my brother!"

James held out a hand. "I'll take whatever is under your bed, but hold your brother."

"Fair enough,"

"Wait!" A third year interrupted. "What about us?"

"Oh yeah, we forgot about them, Sirius! What're we gonna do?" Peter whispered, looking at his angry classmates.

"No, I didn't, Pete." Sirius informed, patting him on the head. The Marauders walked towards an alcove by the staircase. "I'm saving the best for last."

"That's more like it." The burly fifth year said smugly, rubbing his hands together.

"Ready?" asked Sirius, as the Marauders all held onto a rope attached under the alcove.

"YES!" The students chorused loudly.

The Marauders tugged on the rope, and a net fastened on the ceiling released several water balloons filled with body paint. Everyone was hit with different colours of the paint as they glared angrily at the Marauders who were dry as a desert.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey ran around the Hospital Wing as she handed out potions that turned the children back to their original colour. Every Gryffindor seemed to have been hit with it, and it confused Poppy greatly as to who could have done this. She assumed the Marauders first, but then guessed they would've been outside trying to find a good place to bury their friend.

Sometimes Poppy's mind disturbed her greatly.

"I'll take that." Sirius Black declared as they entered the Hospital Wing. He swiped a cup of Colour-Changing potion off of the tray, and chugged. Wiping a hand across his mouth, he said, "That was quite the prank you pulled, Madam, I'll have to say."

"You're telling me ..." James laughed, shaking his head.

"I actually thought Sirius was gonna die!" Peter giggled.

"But then I sent a letter to Zonko's and they said that there hasn't been a recall for Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Dangerous-Neon-Ink and that Highly-Poisonous-Highly-Dangerous-Neon-Ink doesn't even exist." Remus stated.

"So we put two and two together – "

"And voila," Sirius' skin slowly started to change back to its normal shade. "Thanks for the fun, Poppy, but we got to skedaddle! We haven't pranked the Slytherins in days!"

"It was agony!" Peter exclaimed.

"It was torture!" James crooned.

"It was … actually kinda peaceful …" Remus admitted, looking sheepish.

"Remus John Lupin," scolded James. "Have we thought you nothing?"

"Are we bringing out the middle names now?"

"Sorry." The boys waved cheerfully at the Healer and skipped out of the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey sighed, having just learnt something very, very important:

Never prank the Marauders …

"Hey, lady, hurry up with the potion! I'm dying!"

… Because it'll come back to bite you in the arse.

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**Thank you guys for the reviews! It totally made my day :)) So, I'll try to update every Sunday ... and if I miss a day for whatever reason I'll try to update the day after. Review if wanna tell me what pranks the Marauders should pull!**


	3. Swimming in the Corridors?

****Swimming in the ... Corridors? 

Three boys were grinning like fools as they sat down on the sturdy chairs belonging to the Headmaster. One sandy haired, slightly scarred boy perched on his chair, trying to fight back the smile that was erupting on his face. They all were mysteriously wet from head to toe. Minerva McGonagall, in her shiny emerald robes, frowned greatly as she stood next to the Headmaster who was also trying to fight back a smile.

"I suppose you boys know why you were called down, yes?" Albus Dumbledore asked, his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.

Sirius Black looked back at his friends as if to say 'I got this one.' "Er, actually, sir, we don't."

"Don't give us that, Mr. Black! Tell us the truth or we'll be contacting your parents!" Minerva uncharacteristically screeched, a strand of black hair coming out of its bun.

"Okay, I guess the jig is up, guys." James Potter said, trying to look sad. "I think we should start at the beginning…"

_It was a dark and stormy night – _

"Potter," Professor McGonagall growled. James held up his hands and continued.

_After a particularly nasty Transfiguration exam, the Marauders decided to cool off the beech tree they dubbed 'theirs'. Remus Lupin quickly took out a book before they sat down and promptly stuck his nose in it, changing a page every two seconds. _

_James Potter put his hands behind his head as he leaned against the tree. "Yess! One exam down, five hundred to go! Then the next thing you know, it's summer!" _

"_Then third year," Peter Pettigrew added. _

"_Then more exams…" Sirius moaned face planting on the cool ground. "Please stop talking about school! Can we talk about something else?" _

"_How about how hot it is?" James said, pulling off his robes. "What the heck is this? I swear, when we were doing that exam they put on the heater … there is no way this is natural!" _

_Sirius' head popped up. "Hey, remember that charm we learned? The one with the – "_

"_Of course! That's ingenious," Remus exclaimed. The Marauders have hung out with each other so much that they already knew what the other was thinking. _

"_We don't have anything else to do, anyway..." Peter provided, smiling. _

"_So does that mean?" _

"_Oh yeah…." _

_Lily Evans excitedly skipped out of Professor McGonagall's office, grinning profusely. She just had an extra long chat with the head of Gryffindor and Lily was confident enough to say that she passed Transfiguration at the top of her class._

_She walked down the moving staircase, making extra sure she didn't step on the stair that acted like quick sand and teetered towards the Great Hall. Lily knew that the Great Hall was the coolest place, by far. She hated this weather, it seemed so … unnatural. _

"_Ahh!" Lily exclaimed regaining her balance as she almost slipped. Looking down, Lily's emerald eyes widened. The floor was wet, and steadily raising up with water. Twisting her head around, she saw the Marauders muttering as they pointed to the floor with their wands. _

_Suddenly, the water level increased so quickly, that it came up to her stomach. Gritting her teeth, she wadded towards the boys who were having a blast splashing each other in nothing but their bathing suits. _

"_What do you think you're doing?" _

"_What does it look like we're doing, Evans?" James replied, lazily swimming around the redhead. "We made a pool!" _

"_This is not allowed!" She exclaimed, hands on her hips. "Some people may not know how to swim! Stop this at once!" _

"_Make me…" He dared, practically putting his life in his hands as he turned his back to her. _

"_Why I ought to – " Lily readied herself to tackling Potter. She knew this wasn't ladylike at all, but she couldn't help it! He was such a prat! Right before she attempted to claw his eyes out, a voice stopped her. _

"_I wouldn't do that if I were you, Miss. Evans." Professor McGonagall seethed, glancing down at her precious floor that was ruined. "Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, follow me." She waved her wand and the water evaporated, leaving the floor sparkly clean. _

"_Huh?" Sirius feigned surprise, as he picked himself off the floor. 'What'd we do?" _

"_Yeah, we're innocent! Innocent, I say!" James exclaimed, trying to look angelic. _

_Professor McGonagall's lips thinned. "Follow. Me. Now," She said, as if she was afraid she'd explode if she said another word. _

"And then we came upstairs and we chose our seats and then you told us to confess and then Sirius said – "

"Potter," The head of Gryffindor scowled. "If I hear another word – "

Dumbledore coughed. "No, no, Minerva. I think what these boys did was smart. I mean, combining all their power just to make a swimming pool is ingenious."

The boys slapped high-fives, hooting excitedly as Professor McGonagall looked as though she'd been slapped.

Dumbledore held up a nimble finger. "But, Miss. Evans was right – someone might've not known how to swim. So that is why I am deducting ten points from Gryffindor."

"Only ten, Albus? Surely you can deduct some more?"

"I think they've learned their lesson …. Right boys?"

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore…" They crooned, grinning secretly.

"Oh and please clear your schedule for this week and the next … you'll be serving detention in Professor McGonagall's room. Have a wonderful summer!" He walked out, his robes swishing around the corner as he descended the stairs.

"Now, boys, before we begin …" The Transfiguration teacher began, taking a tin case out of her robes pocket. "Take a Biscuit."

They gulped.

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**Review! :))**


	4. Freaky Friday: Part I

Freaky Friday: Part I

The Great Hall was filled with loud chatters, laughs and enjoyment as all the students of Hogwarts ate the food prepared by the House Elves. A group of rowdy boys sat at the middle of the Gryffindor table snickering as they made Snape's pumpkin juice spill all over his lap. The greasy-haired boy glared at the pranksters and muttered some foul words that would make even Voldemort blush.

"That wasn't necessary, Padfoot." Remus Lupin scolded, eating a treacle tart and reviewing his Potions homework. Sirius mimicked Remus when he thought the sandy haired boy wasn't looking, and earned a swift kick in the shin.

"Relax, Moony," James Potter rolled his eyes while trying to look cool because Lily Evans was looking his way. "He was having fun! Besides, Snivellus deserved it."

"What'd he do, Potter?" Lily scowled, obviously hearing her best friend's name being razzed on. "You're always obsessed with him – it's unhealthy."

James almost chocked. "I am _not_ obsessed with Snivellus! How could you say such a thing, Lily-flower?" Lily gave him a swift kick the shin and James whimpered.

"First, if you're not obsessed with Sev, then why are you always pranking him? And if you're not doing that – then you're coming up ways to prank him! And second, don't ever call me Lily-flower unless you want my foot kick higher."

Sirius waggled his eyebrows as James at the last comment and unsurprisingly earned another kick in the shin.

"You know, Lily," Remus whispered to the redhead while Sirius and James tossed Peter's drumstick over his head in a game of hot potato. "I think we should teach these guys a lesson."

Lily nodded, her mind working overtime. "You're right. Hey ... isn't tomorrow the _13th_…?"

"Yes, but what does that – oh!" A light bulb went off in Remus' head as a wolfish grin erupted on his face. "You know if James didn't fancy you so much I'd be the one chasing after you."

Lily blushed furiously as she slapped her friend's arm in embarrassment. They ducked their heads down, whispering and came up a few seconds later with their game-face on. By that time, James and Sirius had already dropped Peter's drumstick on his plate and were beginning to get bored.

"Guys, you know if you don't stop bothering Snape, something bad'll happen to you." Remus said seriously.

"Remus is right." Lily backed him up. "Have you boys ever heard about … " Her voice dropped dramatically. "Friday the 13th?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "That's a stupid legend. Nothing happens on that day. It's just a normal day like any other day."

"What's Friday the 13th?" James asked confusedly looking at his friends for help.

"Well, on Friday October 13th 1306, a French king rounded up all the knights because he was scared they were getting too powerful, and tortured them until they died on that day. Since then, tons of unlucky things happen on every Friday 13th. The day is cursed." Remus' voice was low and spooky, and it was scaring the fifth years shitless.

"Wait a second," Sirius interrupted. "Isn't tomorrow, like, Friday October 13th? Will that mean the amount of bad luck will double?"

"See, that's a special case. October the 13th only happens once every, er, 13 years, so you have to do a special ritual to the person you want the bad luck to work on." Lily said. She looked at Remus, giving him their signal (two coughs and a an exaggerated wink - James became suspicious) and together they opened their hands. Lily had salt resting in her right palm, and Remus had pepper.

"What are you – HEY!" At the last note, Remus threw the pepper over Sirius' left shoulder and Lily to James' left.

James' eyes grew as he glanced at the salt that was in a pile on the Great Hall floor. "What'd you do that for?"

Lily and Remus got up, smirking.

"You're bad luck just increased." Lily winked cheerily. "We chose to do the ritual on you two clowns just to make you get a taste of your own medicine. See you tomorrow – _maybe_."

And with that, the two prefects walked off laughing.

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**Thank you to 2fast2live for your lovely review, your words were very inspiring :)) Oh, and you should totally send me the link to your fanfic! Also, thank again to Iceflower and Chloe the hybrid, you guys are the best!**


	5. Freaky Friday: Part II

Freaky Friday: Part II

"Can you believe her? She corrupted our poor Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, crossing his arms and jutting out his lower lip. His fan club's sighs of wanting increased as the black-haired boy continued to pout, not even noticing a group of girls drooling over him.

Okay, maybe he _did_notice, but he was a little busy worrying about his life here!

"Do you think they're – they're right about tomorrow, mate?" James asked, running his hand through his hair and making it look like he stuck his finger in an electrical socket.

"I don't know anymore." Sirius sighed, making his chin rest on his empty plate. "Let's stop worrying about this. I feel like making Snape dance around the corridors doing a jig."

"That's a good one! Now … how did that spell go?"

* * *

James' perfect dream of him and Lily getting married was interrupted by a long, slightly girlish scream emitting from the bathroom. James rubbed his eyes tiredly, snatching his glasses off his nightstand and padded over towards the door.

Pushing it open, James' jaw dropped at the scene before him.

A hand mirror was shattered on the slightly damp floor, the bathtub being overfilled with water. Shampoo and soap bottles littered the floor, colouring in the white tiles. Sirius was wrapped in a towel, standing still in shock. He snapped out of his trance once he noticed James.

"Help me!" Sirius exclaimed hurriedly as he collected the hand mirrors shards.

"How … ?"

"I'll tell you later, just help me, dammit!" The boys spent ten minutes restoring the bathroom to its original state and once they finished, James asked what the hell happened again.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, unconsciously mimicking his friend's nervous habit. "I was taking a bath and I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing I know it, the bathtub was overfilled with water! I get out, but my foot slipped and I grabbed onto the hand mirror on the counter bringing it down to the floor with me."

"So, let me get this straight … that was you who screamed and _not_ a girl?"

Sirius slapped James' neck, glaring at the bespectacled boy.

"_Anyway_, I think the curse is real. They weren't playing around like we thought yesterday. What are we gonna do?"

James paced the bathroom, thinking hard – unfortunately, his thinking hard face looked constipated so he didn't pull off the smart look like he attended to. "We need to watch our backs. We can't leave our sides for even a second! If we just get through this day, we're golden! Okay, mate?"

Sirius, who was glancing tearfully at his broken mirror, snapped out of his daze and nodded sadly.

Unbeknownst to the boys inside the bathroom, a sandy-haired boy and his redhead companion were peeking through the small slit, covering their snickers as the boys planned.

Lily rubbed her hands together, laughing manically. "Clear your schedule, Remus, 'cause this is gonna be a fun day!"

"Er, Lily?"

Lily chortled, turning to him. "Yesss, Reeeeemus?"

"You're ah ... creeping me out here."

"Right. Sorry."

* * *

**A/N: There is gonna be like two more parts to this and then we're back on to regular drabbles. Think of this like the Halloween edition, even though it's only June lol. Anyway, THANKS to anyone who reviewed/favourited/followed. I love you all! :))) I enjoy hearing your thoughts and/or comments so revieew!**


	6. Freaky Friday: Part III

Freaky Friday: Part III

Breakfast seemed normal enough. Sirius and James walked closer than normal towards their usual seat and to a casual bystander, it looked like the two boys were dating. There were snickers here and there but they were all quickly quieted up with some heavy glares due to James part.

He didn't want his Lily-flower to think he liked blokes! She'd be heartbroken!

Nevertheless, the boys sat stonily down and shoved huge amounts of food into their mouths as they looked around suspiciously. Peter Pettigrew raised an eyebrow at the strange pair but stayed quiet as a mouse while he frantically tried to finish his Transfiguration essay that was due last week.

Sirius picked up the salt, adding it to his eggs. But at that time, James was in a middle of a tug-and-war over the maple syrup with a first year and accidentally threw his elbow back, making Sirius throw some salt over his left shoulder.

"Sorry, mate." James glared at the first year that scurried off. But Sirius wasn't listening, for he was staring horridly at the salt resting on his shoulder.

"PRONGS, WHAT DID YOU DO?" screeched Sirius, patting his shoulder dry. "YOU CURSED ME EVEN HARDER!"

James gaped. "MERLIN, I AM SO SORRY!"

"SORRY ISN'T GONNA CUT IT!" Sirius undid the salt's lid and dumped the remainder on his friends shoulder.

"I KNOW YOU DIDN'T DO WHAT I THINK YOU JUST DID!" yelled James, shoving himself into a standing position and leering over his friend. Sirius, not one to back out of a challenge, stood up and the boys went into a heated staring contest.

This would have gone on for hours if a large bee hadn't decided to land on James nose.

Silence descended the Great Hall as everyone's eyes landed on the cool Gryffindor. James was sweating profusely as he watched the giant bumblebee walk around his nose, making that dreaded buzzing noise.

"P-P-Padfoot," chocked out James, who was trying to stay as still as possible. He heard somewhere that if a person didn't move if a bumblebee was on them, the bee would just buzz off.

But apparently Sirius had never heard such a thing, because while James was trying to mimic a scarecrow, Sirius managed to slip something behind his back.

"Hold still, mate!" cautioned Sirius.

"Hey, Padfoot," whispered James excitedly, "I think the bee is gonna fly – OUUUUUUCCH!" He fell on the floor, moaning in agony as he clutched the nose Sirius had just smacked with a jug – a freakin' _metal_ jug.

Sirius crouched on the floor as he glanced at his friend worriedly. "What's wrong? Didn't I get the bee off?"

James slowly uncovered his nose with his hand and Sirius gasped. His nose was red and beginning to bruise and there was an unmistakable bee-like sting smack in the middle. Looks like Sirius _hadn't_ saved the day after all.

Sirius scampered into a standing position, backing up with his hands held up. "Listen – "

James stood up slowly, taking his time on purpose to scare his friend further. Once he was finally in a standing position, he held up a hand.

"Five," counted James softly.

Sirius was confused. "Huh? Did I hit you in the head or something?"

"Four,"

"Uh, listen, Prongs," stuttered Sirius, "I didn't mean it! I was trying to _save_ you!"

"Three,"

"Oh, bloody hell!" Sirius turned on his heel and ran out of the Great Hall with James close behind. They ran throughout the school. Through classrooms – abandoned and not abandoned. They ran through dormitories – male _and_ female. They ran through the kitchens and finally across corridors.

They would have dashed across the Hogwarts corridors all day if it weren't for that pesky lone banana peel draped on the floor. Sirius saw it, but he was running to fast to dodge or brake. His foot slammed on top of the fruit, making him slide across the hallway. His arms waved around wildly, trying to grab on to something – anything – to regain his balance. Fortunately, his hand managed to grab something.

Unfortunately, that something happened to be Snape's slick hair.


	7. Freaky Friday: Part IV

Freaky Friday: Part IV

Sirius' fingers slipped through the boy's hair easily due to the amount of grease his hair had. He tripped forward, landing face-first on the hard floor. James tried to skid to a stop, but landed on top of Sirius instead.

"EWWWW!" Sirius moaned, gazing at his contaminated hand in disgust. "I touched him! I touched Snivellus! I'm gonna die a horrible, painful death!" wailed Sirius. He didn't even notice James was using him as a cushion. Sirius tried to rub his hand clean on his trousers, but that just made his pants achieve grease marks.

James finally got off of him, helping Sirius – who was whimpering – up. "I repeat - who the hell leaves bloody banana peels on the ground?"

"House-Elves, I bet," muttered Sirius darkly. "I mean, maybe they heard some students bashing on their food or something."

"Why don't they poison their food then?" pointed out James. "It's pretty easy to kill someone with one strategically placed poison-added apple - "

"HELLO!" Snape snapped, glaring at the two bickering boys.

"What?" Sirius glowered, still angry because he was going to have to wash his trousers – and hands.

Snape pointed a thin finger at his scalp. A small patch of hair was missing. Gazing at the ground, Sirius and James saw pieces of Snape's hair littering the floor next to the smashed banana peel.

James shrugged, rolling his eyes. "At least your hair is less greasy. We did you a favour."

Snape sent them a glare - If looks could kill, they'd be dead on the floor next to the banana peel and hairs – and turned on his heel, his long cloak billowing behind him.

"He kinda looks like an overgrown bat if you turn your head to the side." Sirius commented, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head.

James mimicked him. "Hmmm – yeah, I see it!"

Remus and Lily walked over to them then. Lily had a look of concern on her face but it was gone the second James glanced her way, and Remus just looked like he was about to burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Remus … I think we should undo the spell," sighed Lily, shaking her head like she couldn't believe what she was about to do.

"What spell?" asked Sirius and James in unison.

Remus shook his head at Lily, clearly disappointed. "Why'd you do that? Breakfast isn't even over yet!"

"WHAT SPELL?"

"All right, you don't have to be so pushy!" snapped Lily, the prefect in her coming out. Sighing, she continued, "Yesterday, we cast a 'Bad Luck' spell on you two," She flushed a little. "The salt thing was to just get in your heads."

"But – but, Moony!" Sirius whined, turning to the werewolf. "I thought we were friends?"

"We are, but you two have to admit you're pretty malicious towards Snape. We just wanted to teach you two a lesson."

"Well, we learned our lesson!" exclaimed James. "Next time, we won't pull any pranks on Snivellus … when you two are in hearing range." He muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Sirius who gave him two thumbs up.

Remus sighed … it'd have to do. Waving their wands, Lily and Remus said the incantation and a bluish hue surrounded the boys. After it was gone, James and Sirius looked down at their bodies in wonder.

"Wow! I feel great!" Sirius said, flexing his hands. "It's like a dark, haunting cloud that was above my head the whole time, flew away to bother some other poor sap."

James laughed, and shot Sirius a mischievous grin, his eyes twinkling and looking disturbingly like Dumbledore. "Now … how about we teach these two a lesson, eh Padfoot?"

"That sounds splendid, my dear Prongs."

Remus and Lily looked frightened as they edged away.


	8. The Great Snowball Fight of '73

The Great Snowball Fight of '73

Sirius' stormy grey eyes fluttered open, his ears perking up to the sound of soft padding at the window. He threw his blanket off his body as he hopped off his four poster bed.

Flinging his curtains open and wrenching his window up, he said, "Merlin!" Snowflakes were descending down at an alarming speed, painting the ground a beautiful white. The snow was at least two feet and Sirius almost fainted at the things he could do with all of it.

"What're you doing, Sirius?" Lupin muttered his amber eyes bleary from sleep as he sat up on his maroon decorated bed.

"Snow, it's snowing! It's a blizzard! A snowstorm! A winter wonderland!" Sirius listed off giddily as he stuck his head out the window. Suddenly, a tree branch above dumped its snowy contents on the unsuspecting boy below. "AHHH!"

"Okay," muttered Remus, already falling asleep, "just don't kill yourself or anything..."

Sirius reeled back his head, shaking the snow off. The snow landed on Peter who screamed shrilly, falling off his bed.

"James, wake up, man! It's snowing!" Sirius bellowed towards the blanket covered figure snoozing away. The door to their bathroom opened, and James walked out wearing a snowsuit, jacket, mittens, scarf and boots.

"Hey," said James excitedly. "Get dress, mate, it's snowing!"

Peter picked himself off the floor. "Wait, if you're here, then who's sleeping on your bed?" At that moment, the figure underneath James' quilted covers gave a loud snore.

James started, and then looked behind him. "Oh, I almost forgot," said James, turning back to his friends. "That's the 7th year Stan. He paid me 3 Galleons just to sleep on my bed for the night … something about McGonagall wanting him for detention, I think."

That finally woke up Remus and he threw his pillow at James. "You idiot! What'd you do that for? You could've at least raised the price!"

"See? This is why you're a Marauder, Lupin!" said Sirius cheerfully.

* * *

The second years, all clad in winter gear, raced out of the castle, diving in the huge pile of snow. Peter was making snow angels with a third year named Frank Longbottom. Remus was carefully molding the Lean Tower of Pisa out of sticks and snow. Sirius and James were attempting to charm their snowballs to destroy Lily's snowman.

Naturally, she wasn't pleased.

"STOP IT!" shrieked Lily, balling her hands into fist. Her red hair was flying behind her and her pale skin contrasting with her emerald green eyes made James think she looked like a princess.

Of course, he would never admit that.

Instead, he decided to chuck some more snowballs at her snowman.

"Leave us alone, Potter!" yelled Alice Withers. She, too, looked angry. They had taken their wands out and were waving it around threateningly.

"Why should we?" scoffed Sirius. "We're just having fun! I'd like to see you stop us. I mean, you're just a bunch of girls – OOF!" He clutched his stomach, moaning slightly.

"Ha!" said Marlene McKinnon, cracking her fists and glaring coldly. "Just a bunch of girls, are we?"

"Please, fellow students!" Remus tried to keep the peace. "Let us all resume our previous activities that does not include – HEY!" He wiped the snowball slowly sliding down his face off. Eyes flashing, he growled, "It is _so_ on!"

Thus initiating the start of the Great Snowball Fight of '73, which still had the participants arguing about who actually won the fight that day. Of course, some of these details were fabricated horribly like when Sirius claimed he did a triple back flip managing to knock Dorcas Meadowes out with just one perfectly aimed snowball, and when Lily allegedly chucked three boys into a ditch, somehow stealing their underwear in the process.

But one thing that wasn't butchered up in the story was when McGonagall unfortunately opted to take a long, calm stroll around the Great Lake and ended up getting four snowballs tossed in the face.

No, that sadly wasn't fabricated at all.

"Why do you reckon her eye is twitching like that?" muttered James to Peter, making McGonagall's face turn red quickly.

"DETENTION!"


	9. Have You Seen Me?

Have you seen me?

James stepped back, admiring his work. Twenty posters were crookedly stapled on the bulletin board located in the Gryffindor common room. There wasn't that much space to put the posters, so James just placed his posters over the notices he doubted were important.

Some like:_ Extra help for O.W.L's! _and _Super Important Meeting for Every Student at Hogwarts – Don't Attend and Risk Expolsion!_

Remus tapped the boy on the shoulder tiredly. "What are you doing, James?"

The boy in question turned around, looking strangely sombre. "Moony, I'm afraid I have some bad news to tell you."

"What is it?" Remus stiffened slightly, hoping it wasn't something along the lines of, _'We just told everyone about your lycanthropy, mate. They're going to come at you with pitchforks in five minutes or so.' _

James took a shuddering breath. "Barnabas is missing." He moved away from the notice board, and Remus could now see several colourful, slightly messy drawings covering the panel. The headline of the poster read: _Have You Seen Me?_ Below it was a large picture of James smiling wide, cuddling a fat black cat who was trying to escape from James' embrace.

"When was the last time you saw him, Prongs?" asked Remus. Barnabas, James' cat since third year, was an independent cat and sometimes went for long walks, not returning until the end of the day.

"Last month, I think." said James, scratching his head. "I finally noticed he was gone when I decided to feed him, since he wasn't, you know, bothering me like he usually does."

"Last month!" stuttered Remus, paling at his friend's statement. "What kind of owner are you?"

"Hey! At least I feed him … most of the time," muttered James, blushing slightly. "It's just that he usually finds his own food since the House-Elves like him – I have no idea why, he's bloody annoying!"

"Then why are you putting up posters?"

"Mum said that I have to act more responsible so she gave me Barnabas the Lazy-Arse Feline and that if I lose him, my broomstick would be snapped." He exclaimed, his voice slightly cracking at the last note as if a broken broomstick would be the end of the world.

"Okay," said Remus, determined to help his bespectacled, slightly pathetic friend out. "Where was the last place you saw Barnabas?"

James screwed his face up in concentration, tapping his chin. "I think I saw him going inside the girl's lavatories. I thought he was going to, ahem, you know," James coughed, and his face turned red. Being fourteen, and going through puberty doesn't help at all when he is forced to say things like this. "Meet up with a female cat or whatever."

Remus digested the information and nodded primly. He, unlike his friend, had already mastered the act of not blushing when it came to matters like that. "Right, you round up Padfoot and Wormtail and meet me in the dungeons. We'll start from the bottom up,"

James smiled, "I knew I could count on you, ole buddy, ole pal! Has anyone ever told you you're really awesome lately? 'Cause you are – "

"Of course I am, Prongs," interrupted Remus. "But if you can hurry this up, there's a book upstairs calling my name and I hate to disappoint." James gave a salute and sprinted off in search of his friends.

* * *

"I hate this place," shivered Sirius, glaring at a couple of Slytherins slithering by. "It's so cold and … stupid." The boys had just finished looking through Dungeons and it was safe to say Barnabas wasn't there. James was looking a little disappointed but refused to give up.

"Come on, guys!" said James, trying to keep their spirits up. "At least we can cross out the Dungeons from places Barnabas might be. I'm glad, too, I mean, think about if we found him here! Having a Slytherin-like cat isn't something I'd want."

Sirius patted him on the back as they ascended the stairs. "We'd disown him if he was, Prongs. I hate that cat, he's so … annoying. Why couldn't you have lost him sooner?"

"ANYWAY," interrupted Remus before James could get any ideas. "Prongs and I will look at this half of the corridor and Padfoot and Wormtail will look at that half. Barnabas shouldn't be far." The boys nodded, splitting up and hurrying away. An unspoken challenge had just arisen and everyone wanted to find the cat first, not wanting to lose and have their pride wounded.

* * *

"Look at all the cute kitties!" cooed Lily Evans, scooping up an orange and white striped kitten and cuddling it closely. She was sitting in the common room floor beside the couches with her dorm-mates watching the kittens play. Lily's cat Meredith had given birth to seven kittens weeks ago and they were finally old enough to run around. The father of the kittens was a mysterious black cat who showed up at the forth year girl's dormitory last month looking starved. Lily and Meredith immediately became attached to the cat and they welcomed him in.

"I want to keep this one," said Mary Macdonald, petting a kitten with a gold coat. "His fur reminds me of Remus' eyes – er, I mean, gold coins! Gold coins!" mumbled Mary as all her dorm-mates looked at her with knowing eyes.

The portrait door swung open, saving Mary from any embarrassing revelations.

"I don't know where Barnabas could've gone," exclaimed James, fixing his crooked glasses upon his nose. "We looked everywhere!" The Marauders finally noticed the girls and kittens and James straightened up, deepening his voice. "Hello, Evans. Nice kittens, where'd you get – Barnabas!"

The black cat stretched his front paws as he got up lazily, circling the basket full of kittens.

"What're you talking about, Potter?" said Lily, dragging the basket closer to her and looking confused.

"That's my cat!" said James. "Where'd you find him?"

"You're cat?" snarled Lily, standing up and crossing over. She folded her arms over her chest and glared. "You mean Mr. Mittens? You're his owner? How could you treat such a cute animal like that? He looked like he was about to die when we found him at our door! How could you?"

"Er, sorry?"

Apparently, this wasn't what Lily wanted to hear. "Potter, I know your arrogant and a bully but seriously! You got to be that to animals to?" Lily regained her composure. "Anyway, he's mine now, seeing as he's the father of my cat's children."

"Barnabas is the father? Wow, I didn't know the guy had it in him! How many are there – like eight?" snickered Sirius, Remus and Peter joining in.

James, meanwhile, was grinning like a fool. "You know what that makes us, right, Evans?"

Lily flushed, stammering over her words. "Don't say it! I swear to Merlin, Potter, if you say it, so help me – "

"We're related - !" James paused, having realised what that actually meant and paled. "Wait, _what_?"

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, it's been so long. Really sorry! My internet was out and then I had to get my computer fixed, but I'm back! *crickets chirp*

Right, ahem, anyway. _Super_ thanks to **skHermione** and **Remus' daughter** (love the name!) and to whoever put this story on their alerts or favourite's list! You guys are awesome. **  
**


	10. Hogwarts Express

Hogwarts Express

James pulled open a random compartment door, waving goodbye to his parents who were standing on the platform. They shouted back their farewells and tried to hold back tears. _He's growing up so fast_, Mrs. Potter told her husband last night, _I don't know if_ _I'll let him go_. True to her word, Mr. Potter had to gently coax his wife off of their son, but James didn't seem like he wanted to let go either as they huddled under a deserted alcove.

James was secretly glad they picked a secluded area; he didn't want his future classmates to think he was mummy's boy.

He was a Gryffindor!

… Unofficially, yes, but still!

Nevertheless, the ruby red train gave a lurch, so James reluctantly sat down on one of the seats once his parents were out of view.

"Oh great," he sniffed. "Two minutes into the train ride and I'm already missing my parents. I'll never get into Gryffindor!" He threw open the compartment door – with a little too much gusto, for he almost tripped forward - and sighed in relief because his trunk and owl hadn't been stolen.

James flitted through his things once he sat back down, searching for his favourite book: _Quidditch Through the Ages_. That always helped him when he was down … and remind him of the joyful summers back home.

Oh dear … it was going to be a_ long_ train ride.

All of a sudden, his compartment door was shoved open and a black-haired boy zoomed inside. The boy hurriedly closed the door and the compartment window's curtains, and ducked under the seat opposite from James.

He did this so fast that James wondered if this was part of some sort of show Hogwarts was putting on. Dumbledore _was _strange, after all.

Blinking profusely, James stared back at the peculiar boy who, in turn, eyed James wearily like he wasn't the one crouching under the seats, and opens his mouth. He promptly closed it, however, when they heard the door to the compartment slam open again.

A blonde girl with icy blue eyes, pale skin and a prominent posture stepped inside.

"Have you seen a boy, about … this high, dark hair and grey eyes?" She asked haughtily. Her voice was high and shrill and James had an urge to cover his ears, but restrained himself.

Instead, James subtly glanced across the compartment to where the boy was hiding. The boy was using frantic motions, pointing to the girl and then to himself, putting his hands around his neck to mime strangling. James wasn't good at charades, but he took a shot in the dark and guessed the girl would kill Sirius if she found him here, so instead he said:

"Er, no. I can't say I - " The girl exited before he even finished his sentence. The boy crawled out once the coast was clear and dusted his robes off. They looked expensive and would've looked impressive had there not been mud stains on them.

"Thanks so much for that, mate!" He grinned, sticking out a hand. "I'm Sirius Black."

"I've never met anyone _serious_ about their colours..." said James with a half-smile. "But I'm James Potter."

"Black's a shade! Well ... at least I_ think._" Sirius slumped on the seat across from the messy-haired boy. "Potter, you say? I've heard of you."

"You have?" This wasn't strange for Mr. Potter was a high-ranked Auror in the Ministry.

"My parents hate your parent's guts." Sirius said nonchalantly and when James' eyes widened, he said, "They're into the Dark Arts, see … " he went on explaining how his parents treated others with a lesser blood status and how he absolutely detested it and that he was glad he was at Hogwarts because he could finally just be himself.

James blinked. He had expected Sirius to boast about how he was higher than James because his family studied Dark Arts. James was prepared to fight him – with wands (even though he didn't know how to use one) or fists (when the first option failed). But he felt himself pitying the boy once he heard his side of the story.

James could probably see himself friends with him.

Sirius glanced at the book on the boy's lap. "Do – do you like Quidditch?"

Scratch that – James _definitely_ saw himself friends with him.

After about ten minutes into the ride, the conversation started to drift towards who had the best stats in the league and then over towards Grug Crenshaw and his 'lucky' socks. When the boys started to argue on whether or not that one player on the Harpies were human or not, the door to their compartment slid open.

A girl with hair as red as a crayon and bright green eyes stood by the door, "Uh, do you mind if we sit with you guys? The other compartments are all full, and I don't really fancy sitting in the halls all day …"

"Sure!" replied James excited to make more friends. The girl smiled brightly, walking out of the compartment and coming back a few seconds later with her trunk in tow. A skinny boy with sallow skin and dark eyes followed the girl in, nodding his head at them.

"My name is Lily Evans and this is my best friend, Severus Snape." She introduced primly and the others followed her lead.

_I don't feel sick to my stomach anymore ... _James thought that was a good sign. As he listened to Sirius chatter on about the houses in Hogwarts, he felt himself smile. _Nothing can go wrong._

How wrong was he.

* * *

**A/N:** That last bit sounded scary .. like someone was going to jump them or something hehe

Anyway, thanks to anyone who reviewed/subscribed/faved! You all get unicorns I 'borrowed' from Hagrid :))


	11. Great Aunt Nora

Great Aunt Nora

The sounds of wings flapping emitted from the open window as many different owls swooped in, throwing letters and parcels around. Peter had just poured in some milk for his cereal when a tawny owl dropped down a small box, landing in his breakfast. Wiping away milk from his eyes and face, Peter took out the soggy box and placed it in front of him.

"Who's it from, Wormtail?" asked Remus curiously.

"It's from my Great Aunt Nora … " said Peter, shuddering slightly. His Great Aunt didn't like him very much since Peter was sorted into Gryffindor and not Hufflepuff like the rest of his family. But Peter was glad he wasn't placed in that house. He wouldn't have gotten to meet his best friends if he was.

Peter tensed slightly as he ripped open the box. He hoped it wasn't pigeons like the last time. Peter still hadn't gotten the rips out from his clothes.

Discarding the wrapping paper, Peter made a high pitched sort of noise once his eyes landed on the gift:

Inside the box was a bright pink sweater decorated with purple flowers.

Sirius laughed out loud once he saw the present. "You better burn that, mate. Just associating with you if you got that thing will make me look like a pansy."

"We don't need a jumper to prove you're a pansy, Pads."

"_Shut up!" _

"The jumper will bring out the disturbance in your eyes, Pete." James said. "Rebecca Matthews might have second thoughts, don't you think?"

"She's so ten minutes ago," muttered Peter as he picked up the jumper, "I like the colour. It's so … _chic._"

"What?" Remus choked on his muffin. "How can you say that? Anyone with eyes can see that it's not for a boy like you. It's for little girls!"

But Peter wasn't listening. He took off the jumper he was wearing and hurriedly swapped on the pink one.

"Take it off," moaned Sirius, holding his face in his hands. "We can't be seen with you if you wear that thing!"

"Whatever," Peter said dismissively, adjusting the sleeves. He picked up a spoon from the table and glanced at his reflection. "I like the colour … French Rose, I think it is."

"We've lost him, guys." James said, shaking his head at the poor display in front of him. "We've lost Peter!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll come back to us," They watched Peter count how many flowers there were on his jumper, starting over a couple times because he lost his place. "Some day … "

* * *

Weeks past and Peter had gotten worse. He never took off the jumper and some even speculated that he showered with it on. Peter had also started to hang out with some first year girls and they were always seen hanging out at the corner of the common room, laughing aimlessly.

One night during dinner, Peter and his group of friends were minding their own business, discussing if violet could be considered purple when a second year with blonde pigtails stormed over.

The Marauders, who were sitting close to them, could see that the girl was Lizzie Pettigrew, Peter's younger sister.

"Just what do you think you're doing, Peter?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. She held something in one hand.

"Huh?"

"Great Aunt Nora accidentally _switched_ our gifts. That jumper is mine, not yours." Showing him the letter, Lucy waited patiently until he finished reading it before holding a hand out.

Peter groaned. She was right. Taking the jumper off slowly, Peter halfheartedly tossed it to his sister.

"Yay, more laundry," she said faux cheerfully and rolling her eyes. "Here's another letter from Great Aunt Nora. She told me to tell you to read it now." She walked away, holding the jumper two feet in front of her.

"Listen, Pete," A first year with bright blue braces started off, edging away. "You were fun and all, but we can't hang out with you now that you don't own the jumper. So, um, bye?" The girls scurried off.

"Don't worry, Wormtail," said James, having watched the whole exchange. "Who needs brats like them? You'll always have us."

"Thanks, guys," said Peter happily. He took a seat next to Remus. "Let's see what my Great Aunt has to criticize about me this time … "

_Dear kid, _

_The switch wasn't accidental. I laced Girlish Behaviour powder on the box and jumper. _

_I wanted to make you look like a fool in front of your friends (if you have any). _

_I hate you, _

_Great Aunt Nora_

_P.S. This was for not being in Hufflepuff, punk. _

"Wow." Sirius whistled admirably after a few minutes of shell-shocked silence. "She must be a hit at parties, huh?"

* * *

**A/N: **Does anyone else have relatives this mean or is it just Pete? Mwhaha :))

As always, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reviews! You guys are the best! It makes me so happy for all of your continuous support. And thanks for the ideas! I'm almost done with them so I'll post them soon! :D


	12. Filch, Peeves and a Bucket of Slime

Filch, Peeves and a Bucket of Slime

"STEP AWAY FROM HER, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRATS!"

James and Sirius sharply glanced up to see the school janitor, Argus Filch, advancing towards them with an angry expression painted on his weathered face. He was clutching a thick broomstick – the non-magical kind – and the boys knew he wouldn't hesitate to use it as a form of discipline.

"BACK AWAY – AWAY, I SAY!"

The boys, who seemed like they were frozen on the spot, suddenly snapped out of it and high tailed it out of there, leaving a peeved off looking Mrs. Norris behind.

"Why didn't you kick the blasted cat?" Sirius huffed as they rounded the corner. They could hear Filch and Mrs. Norris chasing behind. The two boys had just finished applying super glue over Professor Slughorn's chair (he had given them detention for scrawling on a sleeping student's face with permanent marker) and had just exited the classroom when Flich's cat ambushed them, hissing loudly.

"I wanted to get a good one in," retorted James, fixing his crooked glasses on his nose, "To let her know that we're not afraid of her and her evil sneers."

"YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY!"

Sirius spotted a broom closet beside a tapestry displaying Olga the Old balancing plates on her head. Praying that it wasn't occupied by a snogging couple, Sirius dragged James into it, clicking the door shut once they hastily entered.

They held their breath when they heard Filch thunder past the closet, proclaiming loudly that he'll have their various body parts strewn across the castle.

"Bloody maniac," James muttered darkly.

"This closet is occupied!" A high pitched voice sounded from behind the cramped closet.

"Please tell me that's not who I think it is." James moaned, smacking his head repeatedly against the wall.

"You know I'm not a good liar, mate." Sirius said, feeling his friend's pain.

Peeves the Poltergeist cackled madly as he balanced on a bucket resting on top of a rickety shelf. "No one's glad to see me? Maybe we should ask Filchy what he thinks about this!"

"NO!"

"That's what I thought." Peeves floated down, his round face gleamed under the single light bulb illuminating above them. "But you know I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut so what do you have?"

"How about _we_ ask the Bloody Baron what he thinks we should offer you?" James said, mentally patting himself on the back for the quick quip.

Instead of being frightened and zooming out of there like the boys thought he would, Peeves stood – er, _floated_ his ground. "Hahaha! Do you think I forget easily? The Bloody Baron is still angry at you for spreading those nasty rumors about him!"

"We just told everyone what you told us!" Sirius exclaimed, utterly shocked. The pesky Poltergeist had told them that the Bloody Baron was the one who was sending flowers to the female teachers anonymously. How could they _not_ tell anyone?

"That's not what he thinks!" sang Peeves. He sobered once noticing their dejected faces. "Listen, how about this: you kidnap the cat for me, and then I'll just forget about this whole thing."

"How is that fair, Oomph –" Sirius laughed loudly as he placed a hand over James' mouth, shoving the boy behind him.

"We'll do it!" Sirius chose to ignore the murderous glares James was sending his way. Instead, he pushed his slightly taller friend outside the broom closet and into the deserted corridors.

"Are you mental?" asked James, fixing his robes, straightening up. "Mrs. Norris is always with Filch so if we steal her, she might make enough noise to alert Filch. Then the old coot will skin us alive and give us detention until we're in second year!"

"But I already have her." True to his word, Sirius was holding the struggling cat in his arms. Mrs. Norris tried to claw at them, but Sirius put socks over her hands.

"I'm not even going to _ask_ how you nabbed her that fast ... but where did you get the socks?"

"It's yours, mate." Sirius said cheekily. James blinked, slightly hitching up his trousers. His ankles were bare.

Just as James opened his mouth to question his friend's sanity, a giggle sounded and they were drenched in a cold substance. Looking down in shock, the boys saw that they were covered in green goo. Peeves was doing somersaults in the air, laughing hysterically.

"You little - !"

"Mr. Filch! Mr. Filch! I found the hooligans! They're threatening to kick Mrs. Norris into the next century! Help! Help!"

James and Sirius tried to run, but the slime made it hard to move. All they could do was watch helplessly as Mr. Filch speeded across the corridors, waving his broom around wildly, Mrs. Norris smirking by their feet.

"James," Sirius gulped, eyes filling with tears.

"Yeah, buddy?" whimpered James

"I j-just want you to know … that I was the one who stole your Herbology homework."

"WHAT?"

"O-On the bright side … we got an O!"

* * *

Thanks to **shadowkat678** for the idea!

Also thanks to **loveislouder94**, **Remus' daughter**, **greysky3**, **skhermione**, **snowflakecake** and **shadowkat678** for reviewing and for some suggestions for upcoming drabbles. I'll get to it!

Leave a review to tell me what you think! :))


	13. Love Potions Gone Wrong

Love Potions Gone Wrong

Severus Snape was ecstatic. Of course, this was hard to tell because he was able to school his features to make him look as if he were half bored and half angry. He was rather proud of this skill and used it as much as he could. The reason for his uplifted mood was because he managed to brew the strongest love potion in the entire world – or so he liked to think.

Standing in front of his open wardrobe closet, Severus went over his choices: black robes, dark robes, or very dark black robes. Snape decided to be a little cheerful and picked the first option. He carefully carried his clothes over towards his bed and began to polish his shoes.

"What are you doing, Snape?" asked Alden Mulciber, standing by the doorway and raising an eyebrow at the boy who was whistling a cheerful tune.

Normally, Severus would just sneer, or glare coldly, muttering a string of incoherent words under his breath to let them know he didn't want to be interrupted. But Snape chose to ignore the boy while he added more shoe polish on to his rag.

Mulciber realised something was strange too, for he backed away from the room, confused to why his roommate hadn't hexed him yet.

Ten minutes later, Snape descended the staircase leading to the Slytherin common room. He concealed the goblet filled with Amortentia disguised as pumpkin juice in his robes pocket as he nodded his greetings to his fellow house mates.

He confidently strode out of the common room and ascended several staircases until he reached the Great Hall. It was locked, as Snape suspected, because dinner wasn't for another hour or so. But Severus was prepared. Mumbling an advanced unlocking spell, the door to the Great Hall burst open and Severus quickly entered, quietly closing the door behind him.

Instead of walking over towards his house table, Snape veered right until he reached the Gryffindor table. He placed the goblet filled with light orange liquid onto the place he knew his love always sat. Snape smiled. It was finally going to happen. The one thing he dreamed about since he was eleven years old:

Lily Evans was going to fall in love with him.

After the 'Mudblood Incident' Lily avoided talking to Snape at all costs and refused to acknowledge his existence. Snape tried desperately to win his best friend back, but Lily remained stubborn.

So Snape said 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!' He was going to win Lily even if it was the last thing he did. He spent all last week working on the potion to make it perfect, and thanks to his natural talent at the subject, it was. Now Lily and he would be able to live their lives worshipping the Dark Lord, learning about the Dark Arts, basking in all things dark and nothing – not even Potter – was going to stop him.

Severus realised he was standing there for too long and snapped out of his reverie, sitting down on his usual spot at his house table. And not a second too late, for the Great Hall doors burst open and a stream of students entered, chattering loudly. The food appeared on the table the next moment and everyone tucked in.

But Snape kept his eyes glued on Lily, who had just arrived, and thankfully sat where he had placed the potion.

Snape grew bored as he watched her sort through the different foods on the table, deciding what to eat first. Just as he was about to stand up and advise her to try the pumpkin juice, Potter and his gang entered, making a lot of ruckus and (Snape swore) heading towards Lily.

"Evening, Evans," smiled Potter, sitting next to her.

"Hello, Potter," said Lily, trying to stifle her annoyance by taking a sip of her drink. Potter frowned and swiped it out of her hand.

"HEY!"

"Hold on a second." He examined the contents in the goblet.

Severus gave a yelp of surprise as he watched Potter drink from the goblet. This _couldn't_ be good. The Gryffindor's eyes glazed over as he abruptly stood up, searching around.

"What's wrong, Prongs?" asked Black, but Potter ignored him as he ran over towards the Slytherin table.

"SEVVY!" Potter reached Snape who was flushing deep red and attempting to run away. Potter grabbed the boy's hand, and knelt down on one knee.

"_Sonorous_," Potter mumbled, pointing his wand to his throat. His voice amplified as he said, "Everyone, I have an announcement to make, so SHUT UP!" Severus tried to grab his own wand out of his pocket but it slipped and flew across the Hall. So instead, he settled for trying to rip his hand away from Potter's vice-like grip.

Potter held on, his expression turning loving – and deranged. "So all of you know that I hate Snape, blah blah. But it's not true! I said that because I didn't want you all to find out I loved him with a burning passion."

"IT'S NOT TRUE! HE'S CURSED!" attempted Snape, but Potter cut him off.

"My love for you is like fire. You're the one who started it, and the only one who can put it out." Gasps were heard at the proclamation, but Potter continued on. "With that said … will you be mine?"

_THUMP! _

Snape had fallen on the ground in a faint.

Potter stood up, brushing his robes and headed back towards his table, grinning the whole way as he plopped next to Lily. "And that, my dear Lily flower, is how you thwart a maniac."

* * *

**A/N:** I figured Snape didn't seem like the type to give up, so voila! Thanks a bunch to anyone who's read this far and to those who reviewed or put this story on their alerts and fave's list.


	14. To Dye or not to Dye

To Dye or Not to Dye

"Good morning, everyone," greeted Professor Slughorn as he maneuvered his large belly behind his clustered desk at the front of the classroom. He clasped his hands in front of his bulging stomach, and surveyed his students. "You will be preparing a potion for me today, and I will be grading you to see if you meet the NEWT level standards, because Merlin knows some of you barely scarped by on your OWL's."

Everyone turned their heads to look at Peter Pettigrew who attempted to slink down in his seat but only managed to topple his stool over.

"You will each be preparing me the Forgetfulness Potion on page 235. You have one hour and thirty minutes starting ... now."

Remus Lupin took out his battered Potion book and placed it in front of it. He almost rubbed his hands in glee when noticing how simple the potion was. Maybe Slughorn forgot that they were a NEWT level class and not in second year. Nevertheless, Remus quickly got his ingredients from the back and carried it to his table that he was sharing with Peter. Poor Pettigrew looked lost as he tried to focus.

"Wormtail, the book is backwards." Remus supplied after watching his friend try to decipher the words.

"Ah … thanks, Moony!"

Remus rolled his eyes, smiling. Cracking his knuckles, he got to work.

One hour later, Remus looked over his book, double checking he put the ingredients in right order and stirred in the right direction. _Let your potion rest for fifteen minutes. If brewed correctly,the colour should be sapphire and emitting a pearly vapour. _

Remus looked inside his cauldron and bit back a scream. His potion was dark green and murky and bubbles were boiling rather nosily on the surface. What the hell? Remus glanced over to see how Peter was progressing. Peter's potion was a dark teal and a thick vapour was coming out. It wasn't perfect, but much better than Remus'.

_How can this be? _He thought feverishly, almost ripping out his hair. _I triple checked everything … I made sure to stir gently … I – I added three slugs instead of the desired four – _

Peter glanced over from his wild stirring, and whistled low. "Whoa, Moony, I didn't know you can swear like that. Wait until I tell the others!"

Remus growled at him, baring his teeth and Peter quickly went back to his potion. He felt a pang of guilt immediately after. It wasn't Wormtail's fault Remus overlooked the ingredients.

"Ten minutes left, children!" Professor Slughorn called out giddily.

Remus suddenly got an idea. He took out his wand and conjured up a small vial of blue food colouring. Since his potion wasn't the colour it ought've been, he was going to have to make it appear as if it was.

Pouring the vial's contents in, Remus stepped closer to admire his work. The potion was quickly turning sapphire but the bubbles were starting to rapidly increase.

"Lupus, m'boy!" said Slughorn, hobbling over towards him. The Potions Master was always forgetting Remus' name, but he didn't have time to correct him now because his potion was starting to overflow. "Let me see – "

_BOOM! _

Remus' cauldron exploded into a million pieces, the potion itself splattering around the classroom and covering Remus from head to toe. Professor Slughorn managed to avoid the accident, but slipped on the spill, dragging Peter to the ground with him who yanked his cauldron full of Forgetfulness potion down in surprise, drenching them both.

"Professor," Remus wiped the thick liquid away from his eyes as he tried to calm his nerves. He had a feeling he wasn't going to get an O. "Professor Slughorn, are you all right?"

"Professor Slughorn?" he blinked confusedly. "Who is that?"


	15. Raining Cats and Dogs

**Raining Cats and Dogs**

Contrary to popular belief, Sirius Black was not a womaniser.

He didn't know where the rumour started from, but he had a feeling it was James, for he always turned a funny shade of red and looked as if he was about to burst out laughing when first and second years would beg Sirius to go out with them.

This proved to be making Sirius' quest on winning Minerva McGonagall over harder.

Sirius didn't know what the Transfiguration Professor's problem was, making him frustrated. She always sniffed at his charming compliments and rolled her eyes at his declarations of his love for her that would make any other girl _swoon_.

One rainy night, after escaping from an angry Filch, Sirius spotted the Animagus; her dark blue robes swishing as she turned the corner. Fixing his dark hair and praying he didn't have any broccoli in his teeth, he ran to catch up.

"Hello, Minnie," said Sirius, falling in step with her.

Professor McGonagall wasn't having a great day. The forth _and_ sixth year essays she had finished marking were simply atrocious and she just knew Mrs. Norris was the one who stole her lesson plans.

On any other day, Minerva would frown and shoot down Sirius' advances, but today she just glared heatedly as she spat:

"I'm awfully tired right now, Black, so I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave me _alone_."

But Sirius Black was no quitter. He put an arm around her as he said, "What do you say we run away together? Elope or whatever muggles call it. And for our honeymoon, I'll take you to beautiful Italy. I heard the motorbikes there are wicked!"

Professor McGonagall breathed in deeply, attemping to calm herself down. A stint at Azkaban for murdering a student wouldn't go so well with Dumbledore. She picked his arm off her with her forefinger and thumb, and said in her most serious voice, "For the last time, Black, go away. I do not want to have to deduct points from _my_ house – "

"Are you a veela?"

Professor McGonagall rubbed her temples as she quietly muttered, "He's not worth it … he's not worth it … he's not worth it … "

"Because you are _absolutely_ bewitching, kitty cat,"

"BLACK," exploded McGonagall. She drew the line at 'kitty cat'. "IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE ME ALONE I SWEAR TO MERLIN YOU WILL HAVE DETENTIONS FROM NOW UNTIL YOUR GRADUATION!"

Instead of cowering away in fear and yelping out apologies like Minerva hoped, Sirius smiled. "Feisty, aren't we? I knew there was something I liked about you, kitty – "

"FOUND YOU!" declared Argus Filch, heading their way.

"Alas, I must go." Sirius conjured a bunch of white daisies, handing them to a shocked McGonagall with a grin. "I'll see you - Urgh, get off of me, you stupid cat,"

Mrs. Norris hissed, but didn't let go of Sirius' robes as the boy dashed away from the aging janitor.

Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes at the bouquet. There was a small piece of parchment hidden between two flowers. Picking it up, her anger skyrocketed:

_No but seriously … are we still on for Italy?_

* * *

**A/N: **I'd like to wish a _very_ happy birthday to **Remus' daughter**! You were my first reviewer that alone makes you super _awesome_! :DD *Gives a plate full of sugar and a basket of cookies and prized penguin suit*

Thanks to: **xxSiriusxxforeverxx**, **greysky3, shadowkat678 **and** Remus' daughter **for reviewing last chapter!


	16. Mad as a Hatter

**Mad as a Hatter**

Peeves the Poltergeist whistled a merry tune as he zoomed along the corridors. Today was August 31st. Peeves was working especially hard on preparing the castle for the students that were due to arrive the next day. Say what you will, but Peeves was no slacker.

Angling a bucket filled with slime on top of a slightly jarred door, Peeves suddenly froze. He could have sworn he heard the familiar sound of shackles dragging across the floor – Oh no!

Peeves flew around the corner trying to desperately stifle his frightened squeals. The Bloody Baron still hadn't forgiven him for overhearing Peeves mock about him to a first year. He was going to have his transparent head for sure!

_If the Bloody Baron manages to get rid of me, the Fat Lady would be so disappointed, _he thought wistfully, too busy reminiscing about his one sided fling with Gryffindor's portrait to notice Professor Dumbledore's door open.

"Why, hello there Peeves!" greeted Dumbledore, blue eyes twinkling as he regarded the Poltergeist who slammed to a halt at the mention of his name. "What brings you here?"

"None of your business, old man," said Peeves snidely. Dumbledore always thought the Poltergeist was a riot and let him get away with minor things so Peeves made sure to use this to his full advantage.

"Ah, my apologies," smiled Dumbledore, totally unfazed as he held up a bowl of yellow candy. "Would you care for a lemon drop? They're my latest fascination."

Peeves blew a raspberry.

"Yes, well, all right. I better be off. The staff meeting commences in … well now. Good day."

Peeves was about to fly off to double check his booby traps, but stopped when he noticed Dumbledore's door was partially opened. Peeves giggled as he rubbed his hands together. He hadn't been up there for quite awhile! Rolling up the sleeves of his loud orange suit, he zoomed up the stairs.

Dumbledore's office hadn't changed much. He still had his stupid collection of knickknacks scattered about, but Peeves didn't stop and stare, because an idea popped in his mind.

Peeves made a beeline for the cabinet. The Sorting Hat rested on the first shelf sighing deeply through the jagged line across the brim.

"What's wrong, Hattie?"

"I hate everyone!" replied the hat angrily. "They all refuse to fix the hole by my brim! I mean, honestly, they're wizards! How hard is it to patch up a hole?"

"I think you should do something about it," said Peeves. He opened up the cabinet door and suddenly yelled, "Ooh, I know!"

"What is it?" asked the Sorting Hat desperately, wanting to get revenge. "I'm all ears – er, metaphorically speaking of course, since I don't _have_ any ears."

* * *

_September 1st 1971_

The Sorting Hat smirked as Professor McGonagall whipped the sheet off of him the next day. The Poltergeist and he had stayed up late last night concocting their plan of revenge. The Sorting Hat was so excited; he didn't even berate the Transfiguration teacher for unveiling him before she gave him the signal to prepare.

No, no. He couldn't worry about pesky things like that at times like this.

The Sorting Hat surveyed the first years crowded before him. If he was paying attention, he would've noticed that this year's batch looked pretty interesting. A boy with messy hair and glasses was snickering quietly with a boy with black straight hair and startling grey eyes, jeering at the Slytherin table. A couple children glared at them to be quite.

Professor McGonagall coughed quietly. It was time for The Sorting Hat to begin. Clearing his throat for the 467th time that morning, he commenced:

_Today I have something important to say,_

_So all of you motor mouths better shut up, okay? _

_A thousand years before this day,_

_I was brought upon to sort who came. _

_The four founders each gave me specific traits,_

_To look for deep inside you ingrates!_

_But the thing they forgot to mention to me,_

_Was why their qualities didn't seem to be? _

_Godric Gryffindor said he was strong like a cattle,_

_But he fled away when he was thrust into battle! _

_Helga Hufflepuff wanted her children to be true,_

_But she cheated on her husband whenever he caught the flu. _

_Rowena Ravenclaw desired those with numerous facts,_

_Yet they all had trouble with their manners and their tact. _

_Salazar Slytherin whispered for cunning and will,_

_But little Slytherin himself didn't even fit the bill. _

_So now that you know, my story is out,_

_I'll have plenty of fun, sorting you about! _

_Before we begin, I'd just like to say: _

_The professors at Hogwarts are all the same. _

_They hatefully despise you, so watch your back,_

_You can take my word for it, for I am the sorting hat!_

The Hall was eerily silent. The Sorting Hat sneered a little as everyone looked at him like he was mad – which he probably was. Peeves broke the silence by laughing shrilly, pelting water balloons at unsuspecting students, giggling:

"Welcome to Hogwarts!"

* * *

**A/N: **I knew there was a reason why I liked Peeves, too bad he wasn't in the movies :(

Thanks to **Remus' daughter**, **shadowkat678**, **skHermione**, **HoangMai,** **Hpdwlotr24**, and **xxSiriusxxforeverxx **for reviewing! Anyone who's given me an idea for what the marauders shall do next is coming up in the next few chapters. It's just too awesome to rush, LOL :D


	17. Attempted Quidditch-cide

**Attempted Quidditch-cide**

"And then … _then …_ do you know what he did, Moony? He laughed at me! Laughed at me under his bloody invisibility cloak while I was dragged away by my ear – _my ear_ – by Filch! It took ages for me to scrub his floor with that toothbrush he gave me!" Sirius complained, pacing their dorm in anger.

"Well now you know not to put slippery substances in front of the Hufflepuff common room entrance. Really, how do you two expect to get away with anything what with all the noise you make?" said Remus, slightly peeved on having to play 'therapist' while editing his Potion's essay. He had caught himself writing 'hide dungbombs and other explosives' on the margins.

"What we need to do," Sirius said, his voice muffled as his head was practically in his trunk, "is teach Prongs a lesson he won't forget. He can't just do things like this and expect to get away. My ear will never be the same!"

"We can't do that!" exclaimed Peter from his place on Sirius' bed. "Marauder's Code, remember?"

"Yeah, well he broke it by leaving me in the dust. Besides, you'd probably want revenge too, what with that nasty rumour he spread about you wetting your bed."

"That was in first year," Remus pointed out. "We weren't really good friends then."

"And that time he told Sprout you cried because you missed your mum."

"That was _you_."

"Let's not think about the past, Moony," snapped Sirius, finally finished ruffling through his trunk, and placed the book he had pulled out on his lap, flipping the pages. "Hmm, now where is it … ah, here we go!" he exclaimed, allowing himself a smug smile as Peter and Remus edged closer in curiosity, reading over Sirius' shoulder.

"It's perfect," whispered Peter, ignoring the warning bells going off in his head that came when contemplating pranking another Marauder.

Remus rolled his eyes as he realised they were waiting for his opinion. "I suppose it's alright. When are you planning on executing it?"

"Tomorrow," he said happily. "During _Quidditch practice_,"

* * *

If there was one thing Ned Wood hated, it was tardiness. Of course, he hated other things too. Back talkers, eye rollers, people who didn't respect his orders, people who sneered, people who didn't do things perfectly the first time, spies, the colour green, detention, babies … the list went on.

But the one thing Ned Wood absolutely loved was Quidditch. He lived and breathed Quidditch. He slept on the bleachers more than he did his own bed. His extreme love for the sport could've been why he was chosen to be this year's Gryffindor Quidditch captain. Of course, the short, persuasive (_threatening) _note he sent last year's captain might've helped him a bit.

It was the first practice of the season and Ned was pumped. He had spent all night preparing his speech and what moves they were going to practice. At precisely 6 am, he was seen striding towards the pitch, a stack of papers in one hand, his broomstick in the other. Around 8, the rest of the team started to trickle in.

"Good morning, all," he greeted. Most of the team was fighting off sleep as they leaned drowsily against their broomsticks. Ned noticed this. "_I said_, GOOD MORNING, ALL."

"Good morning, Captain Wood." The team shouted back, looking less sleepy than before.

"Much better," he said brightly. "Today's practice is going to be excruciating at its least. Anyone who thinks they won't be able to handle it may leave now. I heard the Hogwarts Happy Squad is still looking for members."

Nobody moved.

Ned beamed, "Brilliant. I want 20 laps around the pitch – on foot."

Nobody moved.

"Am I speaking Mermish? I said _on foot_ – GO, GO, GO, GO!" he blew his whistle around his neck shrilly and the team grudgingly took off, muttering their disdain.

"Where is he? He's supposed to be here!"

"Relax, Wormtail. It's part of the plan. I drugged him at breakfast – "

"WHAT?"

" – with sleeping draught. He'll wake up soon … hopefully."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"Stop breathing down my neck, Padfoot. It's irritating."

"Stop digging your elbow in my sides, Moony. Did anyone ever tell you they're unnaturally bony?"

"Wormtail, I really hope that was your stomach rumbling and not any other bodily function … oh man!"

The three boys shifted around under James' invisibility cloak they had nicked that morning. Suffice to say, they were _not_ comfortable. The bleachers they were sitting on were cold and slightly damp from the night's rain, making it difficult for them to find a comfy position.

"Shut up, shut up! I see Prongs!" Sirius cried suddenly, and the boys seized their squabbling to peer down below.

James was sprinting across the field, looking slightly deranged as he tossed his broomstick to the side, attempting to blend in with his team mates.

Ned Wood was not fooled.

"Potter, come here!"

It was show time. Sirius trained his wand at James' hunched figure and muttered, "_Oscitare Saepius_."

The spell immediately took place.

"What did I tell you about tardiness? IT IS NOT ACCEPTED!" yelled the captain, glaring angrily at the twitching fifth year. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

James yawned.

Ned's nose twitched. "Come again?"

James yawned in response. "Sorry, captain."

"HOW DARE YOU? 30 LAPS AROUND THE PITCH, CHOP, CHOP!" Ned snatched the whistle around his neck and blew it in James' ear. The boy, alarmed at what he had done, but too scared to defend himself, ran off.

On the bleachers, the Marauders were practically howling with mirth as they watched their friend drag himself to a finish. They had decided to feel bad later, settling into watching the train wreck first.

"Okay, now that we've finished that little warm-up, let's practice a couple moves. I heard the Slytherin team shipped in a Keeper from Romania that's part vampire. If we have enough time today, we'll make garlic necklaces. Come on."

The practice started off normal enough; James tried his best to stay away from Ned, because he couldn't … stop … _yawning_. He'd gotten eight hours of sleep last night, like Ned had ordered, and didn't even feel an ounce of tiredness. His mouth just kept opening and making obnoxious yawning noises.

But one couldn't escape Ned for long. The blond boy flew over, watching James as he made an impressive shot through the hoops.

"Brilliant, Potter! But remember not to forget your surroundings; the Beater's can't be there for everything, okay?"

James tried to fight it. He really did. But his body must've hated him today, for he yawned … very loud. And in _Ned's face._

A vein in the captain's head throbbed as his face turned red. "You think you're too good, eh, Potter? Think you're so tough with that gang you strut around the school with. What d'ya call yourselves, the Marsupials?"

"Oi, its Marauders to you, you twat!" a voice shouted from the bleachers. But no one was there. James put two and two together fairly quickly.

"Spies! I knew the Ravenclaws would pull something as low as this! Why didn't I schedule a night practice? Get down, Potter!" hissed Ned, hunching awkwardly on his broom as his head swiveled around wildly.

"I'll get rid of them, captain." James said, bravely. Ned saw this as a sign of loyalty.

"All right, Potter. And I'll just forget about that little stunt you pulled. Good luck," he flew off, screaming at the others to fetch some garlic from the kitchens.

James flew down, hopping off his broom as he ran up the bleachers. He pinpointed where he heard Sirius' voice and ripped off the invisibility cloak to see three sheepish faces.

"What the hell, you berks!" he snarled, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Ned could've killed me! I could've died! What do you have say for yourselves?"

"We're not sorry." Sirius said, before Remus could get a word in.

"Great, because that was wicked," he grinned, slapping them high fives. "Did you _see_ how red his face got? I thought he was going to explode!"

"You're not angry?"

"Nope. I actually yawned a bit myself just to see how upset he'd get. How bout we pretend the Ravenclaws kidnapped me so I have a reason to skive off."

"Let's say we try this spell on McGonagall!"

"_But she'll kill us!" _

"I call dibs!"

* * *

**A/N:** This was incredibly fun to write! Thanks to **skHermione** for the idea!

Also, thanks to **naien543,** **HoangMai, ****shadowkat678,** **xxSiriusxxforeverxx, Hpdwlotr24, **and ******Remus' daughter** for reviewing! And to anyone who's fave'd or followed, it really means a lot! :D

_Oscitare Saepius - _yawn repeatedly


	18. The Marauderettes

**The Marauderettes**

"Stop that. It's getting rather annoying."

Jamie Potter closed her hand around the glittering gold snitch she had been tossing around and grinned back at her best friend, "Only because you said please."

Silena Black rolled her grey eyes, scoffing. "I'm a Black. I don't say please."

"That wasn't a good comeback... Maybe it's time to get some new jokes, Padfoot." Rema Lupin advised, pausing from her Herbology homework to answer her friend. Her parchment was already three feet long, but she felt she would get more marks if she added two more feet.

None of her friends understood her logic.

Petra Pettigrew folded her arms across her stomach as it rumbled loudly. "I'm starving! Can we go down to the kitchen, please?" she had given up on her own Herbology homework twenty minutes prior, and claimed that she would finish it tonight, but they all knew that she would forget about it until the next morning where she would scramble to get a measly paragraph together that would give poor Professor Kettleburn a heart attack.

"Dinner is in, like, half an hour. Surely you can wait?"

"No!" she jumped up from her chair with surprising speed, considering she didn't exercise, and snatched Silena's hand across the table, dragging her towards the portrait hole. "You know me. I hate waiting. I'll probably die from starvation if dinner was in _two _seconds."

"… It's been two seconds … why aren't you dead yet?"

Petra flipped her flaxen hair over her shoulder and sighed. "Honestly, you _do_ need new jokes. It's pathetic."

"Wait for me, guys!" called Jamie, hopping up from the couch, and walking over. Rema had finished her essay (all five feet of it) and had managed to stick it into her satchel when they met up. "We might see Evans on the way!"

Jamie had been in love with Leon Evans ever since third year. It was their first Hogsmeade trip and Jamie and the girls were excited to visit all the shops. They were walking along the sidewalk, _oohing _and _aahing _over the extravagant displays in the shop windows when something tripped Jamie. She had fallen on the ground and was just about to let out a string of curse words when the person had kindly informed her that_ 'You're crushing my bloody ribs!'_

She did eventually detangle herself from the poor boy, but not before _accidentally _stepping on his hand and _accidentally_ throwing off his knit hat off his bright red hair that she had_ accidentally_ noticed and after his hat had _accidentally _flown away by the strong wind that had _accidentally_ made her lose balance and _accidentally _fall on top of him and _accidentally _gaze into his bright green eyes that _accidentally_ happened to be her new favourite colour.

This was all accidental, of course.

But every time she attempted to ask him out, her face went super red and she would get tongue twisted and try to say words but she'd just evidently look like she didn't know any English. Leon was nice enough not to acknowledge these displays, but he'd give her the cold shoulder instead because of Jamie's nasty rivalry with his best friend, Savannah Snape.

Savannah Snape was a Slytherin and therefore 'The Enemy' according to Silena's and Jamie's books. She was a tall girl, with pallid skin and stringy black hair that down to her back. Her eyes, unlike Hagrid's nice, friendly ones, were dark and cool, like she was contemplating the best way to kill someone who stole her candy.

She also had a huge crush on Leon Evans, like Jamie, and thus automatically making her 'The Major Enemy'. Unlike Jamie, though, Leon liked Savannah and all her quirks which angered Jamie to no end because Savannah hung out with people that hated Muggleborns like Leon, and would gladly kill him if they had a chance, but he didn't seem to notice that.

Sometimes boys were stupid.

"Why is it so bloody cold?" complained Silena, rubbing her bare arms as they walked along the empty corridors.

Rema crossed her cardigan clad arms across her chest, obviously gloating. "Maybe it's because you decided to wear that skimpy ensemble on a winter day. Hogsmeade was last weekend, love, who are you trying to impress? Dumbledore?"

Silena sniffed indignantly and smoothed down her swishy purple skirt. "Just because I make an effort to look nice doesn't mean you have make fun of me."

"Aww, Padfoot, are you gonna cry?"

"Shut up, Moony! Prongs, tell her to shut up!"

"Moony, shut up."

"Was that supposed to be intimidating?"

"Nice one, Wormtail!"

"You want intimidating, eh? How about if I cover your book collection in Silena's lipstick,"

"Like she'll give you – "

"Oi, well if it isn't the Marauderettes!" a shrill voice boomed from behind them. The girls turned around, immediately on alert, and surveyed their competition. It was Snape's gang. They deflated a little, thinking it would be some real challenge, but didn't back down, nonetheless. Snape was, of course, in front of the pack, looking greasy as ever in her old robe sets, leering down at them with her hooked nose. Directly beside her was Silena's younger sister, Renee Black, who looked a little too excited with the idea of hexing her sister. On Snape's left was Daniel Rookwood, who was holding his wand the wrong way. He was, unsurprisingly, held back a few years.

"That was good," drawled Jamie, taking her wand out from its place where it was holding up her messy hair. "You almost got it right this time. But it's the Marauderettes… say it with me: Marauder – ettes." She raised her eyebrows at Daniel, who had been repeating it after her with great concentration. "Great pronunciation, Rookwood,"

Snape elbowed him to shut up, and then stepped forward, sneer on face. "You're pathetic, you know that, Potter?"

"She's pathetic?" Silena glared right back. "Look at you, Snape. I mean, everyone knows you just_ looovee_ Evans, except Evans himself. Why don't you grow some and tell him? Oh, yes, it's because you know he's not going to feel the same. I mean, who would?"

A bright yellow light shot out from Snape's wand at that moment, aiming for Silena's head. Silena shrieked, and threw up a quick shield, managing to deflect the curse which bounced towards Rookwood who turned and fled, the spell following right behind.

"Uh, guys, let's go, yeah?" said Rema, wringing her hands, trying act on her prefect status. "They're so not worth our time and we have detention the next three weekends so – "

As she began to ramble on about the consequences and '_What Dumbledore would say!'_ the others tuned her out.

"Shut your filthy mouth, Black." Snape smirked, tilting her head to the side. "But I bet you don't even know how to. Why don't _you_ look at _yourself_? You get with guys and then break up with them after you get what you want. Doesn't that make you a right little – ?"

Jamie finally had enough and threw a Knockback jinx towards Snape, who was too busy with her monologue (that was most likely scripted) to notice this and was consequently thrown back a few feet.

Renee hissed as she watched her friend groggily sit up.

"Already acting like a snake, little sis? Tsk, tsk, I knew it would happen one day, but never so soon!"

Thus began the colourful duel between the two estranged sisters, both having way too much fun in trying to seriously hurt each other than they probably should have had.

"I – just – wanted – to – get – a – snack!" Petra cried, feebly defending herself and Rema who was now reciting the Hogwarts handbook's Rules Section.

That left only Jamie and Snape.

_This could be the end_, Jamie thought wistfully, _for her_.

Snape was thinking the same thing.

They stared each other down for a few seconds, before Snape shouted an unfamiliar spell, swishing her wand quickly and catching Jamie, who had just realised what was going to happen, off guard.

* * *

_Ouch, ouch, ouch, that freakin' hurts!_ Jamie thought, mentally shooting death glares to whoever was prodding her arm. _Whoa! Whoa! Keep the paws off the merchandise, buddy!_ She thought angrily when the offending hand brushed against her hair. _Although that does feel nice … hmm, I reckon my Animagus should've been a cat, no matter what Silena says … cats got it all! The nice fur, night vision, not to mention nine lives – _

"Jamie, wake up!"

At the command, her hazel eyes snapped open and she squinted behind her glasses, trying to decipher who was shouting at her. She thought it could've been Silena, but her voice wasn't that deep. _'Cept for that time she attempted to show us her 'seductive' voice, of course. That was a little too creepy for my liking…_

"Are you okay, Potter?"

Jamie almost collapsed. Only one person called her Potter (not including Snape and her gang because they always said it disgustedly). No, no, only one person said her name all half annoyed, half amused:

Leon Evans.

"Uh, errr, what, um, what are you doing here? W-what happened?" _Smooth, Potter! _

Leon didn't seem to notice. He smiled at her, not like the sarcastic smiles he gave her when she attempted to ask him out, but a real, genuine one. "Snape shot a dark curse at you and you were unconscious for a few days."

Jamie's eyes widened and she quickly looked around to note that, indeed she was at the Hospital Wing.

"Dumbledore was really angry, you know." Leon continued, staring past her. He seemed sad, Jamie noticed. "So he expelled Snape and her cronies. I finally realised what a jerk she was and now we're no longer best friends. Gave away the bracelet and everything,"

Jamie's eyes widened. Giving back a friendship bracelet was a _huge deal_. "Really?"

"Yes." He took a deep breath, and looked at her eyes for the first time. His green ones piercing through her hazel coloured ones. "I sold it, and instead bought something else."

"Did you?"

"Uh huh," Leon grinned, running a hand through his hair. "Well, I've got to ask you something." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, so, I really like you – love you, even. - since first year. And – and I was wondering – " he stood up from his chair, and got down on one knee as he took out a small velvet box from his pocket. He opened it, revealing a shiny diamond ring. "Will – will you marry me?"

Jamie had been practically hyperventilating for the most part, but at that last question, she had stopped. Literally – she stopped breathing.

"Bloody hell," Leon shouted, as he got up from his position. He started to shake her shoulders roughly, "Potter? Jamie? Was that a yes? Get up! Please tell me you're joking! Wake up, Potter! Wake up! WAKE UP!"

...

Jamie's eyes flew open, and Silena's face filled her vision. She pushed the girl away, and glanced over her shoulder for Leon.

He wasn't there.

"What the hell?" she yelled, her voice bouncing off the Hospital Wing's walls. "Where the bloody hell is he?"

"Who?" Petra asked, munching silently on some biscuits.

Jamie glared at her. "Leon! I was just about to answer his proposal and you bloody must've scared him off!"

"Language!" Rema cried.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Jamie spat out, looking deranged and murderous. She threw off her covers, standing up. "I'm gonna find him, and then answer this time. Then we'll snog."

"Looks like you've thought this over." Silena responded airily. "And he's not here. Evans is with Snape who's suffering some nasty wounds that we _may_ have inflicted on her when we _sorta_ jumped her after she knocked you out. Evans has never been here. We know this since we've been by your bed 24/7."

"Wait, so, you're telling me Leon didn't really propose to me? That I imagined his proposal and that Snape hadn't been expelled?"

They nodded.

"Cheers,"

Jamie promptly fainted.

* * *

**A/N:** I AM SUPER SORRY FOR THE DELAAAAY! I just went back to school two weeks ago and I honestly think the teachers planned their schedules together because I've had tons of assignments and tests. Then, I think my computer was pissed at me or something because it shut down when I tried to log on and when i finally did, the files I saved deleted and I was like o.O ... REALLY?

Ughhh, so I typed them out again but my first was better than my last ... lesson learned! By the way, this one isn't the the ones my computer killed ... just came to me on a whim!

Thanks to **Remus' daughter**, **bloodyhell-ronald**, **HoangMai**, **skHermione**, **Hpdwlotr24**, **shadowkat678 **and **Crystallea1321 **for reviewing! And to anyone new reading this: WEEEEEELCOOOOME! Shoot, I just may have scared some of you off right there, but hey! Drop me a review to tell me what you think! :DD

* * *

**Alternate Ending**

"Upsy daisy, don't be lazy, Prongsie! It's time to get _uuuuup_!"

James Potter opened his eyes and shut them immediately as the bright morning light attacked his sensitive eyes. After a couple seconds, he opened them up again and absently shoved Sirius off his bed.

"I just had the strangest nightmare…" he mumbled to himself, rubbing his face from reminiscences of sleep.

"What was it about?" Remus asked, fixing his tie with intense concentration in front of the mirror.

"Well, you – you all were in it and – "

"If I was in it," Sirius cut him off, "then it wouldn't have been a nightmare. More like a pleasant dream, because I am awesome."

"And the strangest part was," James continued, ignoring Sirius as memories of the dream came back to him. "We were all girls. And Evans was a guy. And your brother was in it too, Padfoot, he and Snape were both girls – "

"I can see why you labeled this as a nightmare." Sirius wrinkled his nose distastefully. "Sweet Merlin, can you imagine them as birds? Eww, I think you've just scarred me, Prongs."

James got out of his bed, and began to pace the room, as he recounted his dream's horrible details. "I think we called ourselves the Marauderettes, and we got into a duel with Snape and his gang and somehow – and now I _know_ this was a dream – I _lost_ to him and was knocked unconscious for a few days. Then, Snape was expelled for almost killing me and Evans dropped him as a best friend and she proposed to me but before I could answer, I think I, like, died – but I didn't really because it was really a dream and – "

"Hey, Prongs, can you pass me my book bag?" a chubby, blonde girl stood by the door and pointed a manicure hand over towards the bag at the end of his bed.

"Uhh - ?"

"Nice hair, Wormtail." Remus chuckled, tugging on the girl's flaxen hair.

The girl swatted his hand away and walked over towards James' bed having realised he wouldn't give her the bag and said, "It's Petra to you, Moony."

James felt his eyes roll back into his head, but he didn't feel the bed beneath him as he fell backwards.

Sirius shook his head and whistled low, impressed.

Peter wasn't too assured. "Does he not like my Halloween costume?"


	19. Honest or Challenge

**Honest or Challenge**

"Alright, Evans, who do you fancy?"

The forth year girls of Gryffindor were having their monthly sleepover party and opted to play the game every slumber party _have_ to take part in … Truth or Dare. Dorcas Meadowes was itching to ask this question to Lily Evans all night and it was just her luck that the redhead picked Truth.

"In any house?" asked Lily as she shifted around the bed she was sharing with Mary Macdonald.

Dorcas pretended to think about it, humming thoughtfully. "Good question. In Gryffindor and in _our_ year,"

Lily let out a groan. The only boys in her year were the Marauders and they were absolute nightmares. She couldn't pick Potter because he was an arrogant bully. She couldn't pick Black because he was also an arrogant bully. And she couldn't pick Pettigrew because he went along with their arrogant bully-ness. So that left only…

"Remus Lupin. He's the only boy in our year that doesn't make me want to throttle. Plus he sorta cute, in a bookish way, you know?"

Mary let out an angry huff at the proclamation causing one of the girls to look over.

"Oooh, looks like our little Mary _fancies _Lupin!" Marlene McKinnon giggled, partly because she knew she was right and partly because Mary had shoved her off the bed.

* * *

The forth year boys in Gryffindor were bored.

It was Saturday night and they had absolutely nothing to do that would either land them in detention or get chased by an angry mob of students.

James and Peter were playing chess by the fire when Peter suddenly jumped up from his chair, eyes wide. "I win!" he shouted, happy that he beat his friend for once in something.

"Great job, mate," said James, slapping him on the back, and not revealing to the boy that he actually let him win. They joined Sirius and Remus who were sitting on the couch.

"I'm so bored," complained Sirius, attempting to make a sugar quill balance on his nose.

"Same here," added Remus, who looked liked he was about to doze off.

"Hey, none of that, guys," interrupted James. "We're the Marauders – we don't _do _boring. Let's play a game, yeah?"

Peter sighed, "Games are for children!"

"Not this game… I think. It's called, uh, Honest or Challenge." James grinned when he noticed he'd gotten their attention, and hurriedly made the rules up. "I pick a person and they have to either pick the two options. If you pick Honest, then I ask you a question and if you have to tell me your honest answer. If you pick Challenge, then I pick something you have to do, and you _have_ to do it."

"What if we don't do the Challenge?" asked Remus, hoping James would say they could pass it up. James' idea of fun usually led them into several nights at the Hospital Wing and he didn't want that to happen to him _again. _

James looked around and found a stick placed strategically by his chair. "Strange," he mused, but decided later to ponder on this. "If you don't do the Challenge then… I burn you with the stick!"

"Cool!"

"Wicked!"

"Oh dear… "

* * *

Alice Withers was having the time of her life. She had just finished completing a complicated dare that consisted of her sticking her head out the window and screaming to the world that she was in love with Frank Longbottom.

That was lie, of course. Alice Withers didn't _do_ love.

"Lily, Truth or Dare?" inquired Alice, hoping her friend with choose the latter and make this slumber party even more fantastic.

_Oh, what the hell! _Lily thought. _They're my friends. It's not like they're going to make me do something stupid, or anything… _"Dare!"

Lily Evans apparently didn't know her friends at all.

"I dare you to – I dare you to ask out Remus Lupin right now."

The room was filled with silence. And then:

"Your days are numbered, dear Alice, for I am going to freaking KILL you!"

Ironically, that didn't come from Lily, but gentle, quiet Mary Macdonald instead.

* * *

"Challenge!"

"Propose to Minnie!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because when I really _do_ propose to her, she'll think it's a trick and refuse!"

"Where's the stick?"

The boys had quickly given up on choosing Honest because James claimed it was beginning to get a little girlie, so they stuck with Challenge. The Challenges, though, were starting to get more rambunctious as the night went, but no one wanted to stop the game.

Just as Peter took the burning hot stick out from the fireplace to undoubtedly burn Sirius, the forth year Gryffindor girls descended from the staircase spilling into the common room. The boys straightened up immediately, fixing their dishevelled appearances. There were future dates to Hogsmeade present and they wanted to look their best - even at 3 AM.

Sirius decided to make the first move. "Hello, ladies. What brings you here this fine, uh, early morning – ? "

"_Go-out-with-me-Remus-Lupin?"_ asked Lily quickly. She put her head in her hands, obviously mortified, as she ran up the stairs before she could get a response. Her friends quickly followed her, laughing so hard they found it difficult to climb the stairs.

A silence was cast across the room then, and Remus blushed deeply as he tried to avoid James' gaze. James seemed strangely calm for someone whose crush just told his friend that she wanted to go out with him.

_Maybe he won't severely injure me, _Remus thought hopefully.

James turned towards Remus, a large smile plastered on his face as he said, "Your days are numbered, my old friend." He stood up, grin still fixed on his face as he snatched the flaming stick out of Peter's hand, and made his way upstairs, whistling a merry tune as he twirled the weapon around.

Remus' heart sank as he thought about the many shields he would have to lace around his bed tonight._ Darn… so close!_

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to **shadowkat678**, **bloodyhell-ronald**, **HoangMai**, **skHermione**, **Hpdwlotr24**, **shadowkat678 **and **Remus' daughter **for reviewing!

You guys are like the best and - since I haven't done this in awhile - you each get a Marauder!

Yes, that's right, a _Marauder. _A real, live Marauder. The jig's up, I suppose. You see, they've been living in my basement since I started these drabbles and were loads of help with them. These are all actual events that actually happened to them. But they're starting to get pretty annoying what with all the explosions going on down there so I think it's time to sell - ahem, give them away - !

-_James snatches away keyboard_-

Please help us! This girl is _insane_! She's been feeding us this weird thing called pizza and marshmallows! Also, if any of you has seen Evans, ask her out for me, okay? Oh, and tell her that I love her -

_Boom!  
_

Yes, well that's enough out of him. I'm giving him away first! Review! :DD


	20. First Kiss

Sunlight shines through the dark, moody clouds and reflects through the Great Hall windows as the students of Hogwarts quietly chatter over breakfast. Two dark haired boys sitting across from each other carry a pleasant conversation while eating their respective meals.

At least, one of them is. The other is too busy wondering what a fellow redhead and her long nosed companion is doing to bother about food.

"I think Snape likes her." James Potter finally says, peering over a tiny Hufflepuff's head in intense concentration. He finds it difficult, though, to look inconspicuous when having to turn his whole body to stare at them.

Sirius doesn't look up from stirring his porridge. "You mean the Mudblood - Errr... I mean, Evans?"

James glares at him, and then leans across the table to flick him in the face. "What'd I tell you about using that word? It's disgusting. Don't use it anymore, okay?"

Sirius sighs, but returns to his breakfast. "Whatever. Old habits die hard, and all that." he looks around the Gryffindor table and spots Lupin sitting by himself and reading a huge book. "Do you think Lupin'll let me borrow his Transfiguartion homework? I forgot to do mine."

"Ah yes, because you were too busy trying to murder you cousin." James laughs at Sirius' scornful expression. "What were you thinking, mate? She's a _seventh_ year. You don't even know any spells yet."

"I know plenty," he says, too disgusted with this conversation to eat as he pushes away his bowl. "I know plenty of hexes and jinxes that'll make you _cry_… or die. Take your pick."

James doesn't take him up on his offer because he knows that Sirius could probably teach an N.E.W.T. year DADA class. James, instead, decides to focus on the two at the Slytherin table, heads bent, and fawning over some stupid book propped up against the milk jug. "Say, let's see of Snape really _does like_ Evans... let's put it to the test. I dare you to kiss her."

"_What_?" sputters Sirius, looking at him like he's grown three heads speaking fluent Gobbledydook. "Are you off your rocker? Why would I want to _kiss her_? I don't even _know_ her name." He brushes his hair out of his face as he says, "Besides, what if this goes out? My parents would _disown me_ if they find out I kissed a Muggleborn!"

James rolls his eyes, and lowers his voice as he huddles closer to his friend. "Listen, word in the corridors is that your parents aren't giving you any money until Christmas break. That sucks. But do you know what really sucks? Zonko's is holding their annual one day only sale with exclusive items. If you kiss Evans, I'll give you all my money to order whatever you want. What do you saaaay?"

"No."

"Aw, you're no fun!" James wiggles his eyebrows. "Come ooooon, exclusive iteeeems..."

"No."

James narrows his eyes at him. "Merlin, mate, you _are _no fun!"

Sirius glares back at him, and James backs down. He tells himself this is because Sirius is a Black, and Blacks master their death glares by the time they're out of diapers and it's probably natural that he wants to run back to his dorm and hide under his bed.

"Why can't _you_ do it?" Sirius inquires. "It's your experiment, after all."

James sniffs, because this is a good question, and because he doesn't like to hear the bad parts of his plan read back to him. "Because I have to see Snape's reaction when - sorry - _if_ you kiss Evans. I mean, would he freak out? Duel you? Blow up? Cry – "

"Fine," Sirius wrinkles his nose distastefully and rolls his eyes. "I'll do it. But only if it'll get you to shut up."

"Really, you're serious?" exclaims James, looking ecstatic. "Wait, don't answer that!" he laughs. "Wow, I could just kiss you!"

"Gross," he snickers as James pouts. "I'll have to eat soap for the rest of my life, then."

* * *

"And then, Professor Slughorn gave me a little note to give Madam Pince who'll then give us permission to use the little work offices in the back. We can work on our project there, Sev! Isn't that great?" Lily Evans says excitedly, practically bouncing in glee and almost dropping the library books stacked in her arms.

Severus Snape rolls his eyes good naturedly as he absorbs this. "Sure, that's brilliant, Lily – really great. But do you have to scream so loudly? My right ear is ringing now."

Lily playfully punches his arm and they walk along the corridors in a comfortable silence.

All of a sudden, a classroom door to their left bursts open and Sirius zooms out – unexpectedly crashing into Lily in the process.

"Are you okay, Lily?" Severus asks, helping her up from the mini wreckage of books that had fallen around her.

"Yes, just a bit winded," she says, smoothing down her robes. "Where's the fire?" she then asks, directing the question to Sirius, who is limping towards the side, clutching his arm.

"Ouch," he whimpers. "I – I think you broke my arm!" he cries, angrily. "I'll have to report this to Dumbledore!"

"What? But it was an accident! I didn't know you were going to run out from there!"

"Maybe so, but you should've watched where you were going! Just – just look at my arm!" he exclaims, and then shows them his arm which is in an awkward angle.

Severus rolls his eyes at Sirius' theatrics. "Just get Madam Pomfrey to fix it for you. She can fix anything."

Sirius ignores him, and turns to Lily who is turning a funny shade of green. "A similar thing happened to my cousin, once, you know. He was carrying a tall pile of books and a first year ran into him and chipped her tooth! He was suspended for three months after that. No one would hire my cousin after he graduated." Sirius tells her, as he recalls the memory, substituting books for spells and teeth for bones.

"Really?"

"Don't listen to him, Lily!" Severus hisses, as he gathers up her fallen books and walks ahead. "Let's go."

"Alright, but just know that I'll have you expelled for injuring a fellow student and have you out of Hogwarts faster than you can blink!" Sirius smiles as they halt, visibly stiffening. "Unless…"

"Unless what?" Lily inquires. "Do you want me to do your Transfiguration essays or – um – "

"Unless…" he waggles his eyebrows, "You give me a kiss. On the cheek,"

Snape blanches. "WHAT!"

Lily ponders over this, frowning slightly. "Okay… but we'll never speak of this again. _Ever_."

"Of course, of course," he inwardly braces himself, mentally vowing to kill James when this is over. He moves closer to her, tapping a finger to his cheek and Lily hesitantly leans forward. Right when she is about to plant one on his cheek, Sirius moves his head at the last second, kisses her square on the lips, and jerks back quickly, darting off. He hears Lily's enraged shriek and the string of curse words escaping her mouth, and Sirius is kind of impressed, because even_ he_ doesn't know some of them.

"That – was – so – awesome!" exclaims James from under his invisibility cloak as James catches up to him. "But I think I missed Snape's face – do you mind doing that again - ?"

"NO!" Sirius rubs the back of his hand across his mouth repeatedly as they dash up the stairs. "That was stupid! I can't believe I let you talk me into that!" They come to a stop in front of the portrait hole and Sirius turns to James' general direction. "You know what? I'm going to order the nastiest, cruelest products I can find from Zonko's exclusive items list and prank you – and_ only you. _And it'll be when you least expect it, so you better watch your back." He climbs through the portrait hole."Good day to you, Potter."

The Fat Lady gives James a look as if to say, _you're done for, mate_, and he ignores her.

"Wait, Sirius! Maybe we can negotiate?" James whips his cloak off and hurries after his friend's retreating figure. "I'll do your homework for a whole month! Or make it a year! I'll give you twenty galleons – no, make it fifty! You – you can have my parents! Or my house, if you want! Sirius? SIRIUS!"

* * *

**A/N: **THANKS FOR ALL THE FOLLOWS/FAVES! If you haven't received the Marauders in your mailbox, please don't sue me. Right when I was about to ship them off, I realised I still needed them to continue this fic so you're all getting copies instead! They're just like them, but with no flaws - !

Sirius: I hate this drabble. I hate it. I told you not to post this. This is embarrassing.

Blue: Manners! You can't interrupt, Sirius, that's rude! What would your mum say?

_-Sirius scoffs-_

Sirius: Frankly, my mum can just -

_-Remus tuts-_

James: You little tosser! How dare you kiss my Lilyflower! How come I wasn't informed of this?!

Peter: Uh, you dared him to kiss Evans, mate. Remember?

Sirius: I did no such thing! La la la, I can't hear you!

Remus: _Anyway_, thanks to** bloodyhell-ronald**, **Hpdwlotr24**, **shadowkat678**** - **

James: Hold up - which one of us do you want exactly? The dashing, charming, bloody awesome one (AKA me), or them three?

Sirius: She obviously means me.

_-Sirius strikes a pose-_

Remus: Now you've just scarred everyone.

Peter: Finally, thanks to **Remus' daughter** - woaaaah!

James: Remus, you old dog, you! Since when did you -

Remus: GOOD NIGHT!


	21. Myrtle's Infatuation

It was a peaceful day, one of those rare days where the Marauders weren't terrorizing the whole of Hogwarts, when the portrait door blasted open.

Lily Evans looked like she'd been through a hurricane as she detangled herself from the entrance curtains. Her blouse was wrinkled and ripped, her robe was hanging off her shoulders, her red hair (which she took great pride in) looked like it was fixed in a blender and she was leaving a small puddle underneath her shoeless clad feet.

She burst into tears.

Her friends immediately swooped over, creating a small, protective circle around her as the normally no-nonsense girl hiccupped on their shoulders, and wailing incoherent phrases. "- swooped out of nowhere! Second – hic - floor b-b-bathroom… Grandma's – hic - bag – ripped! Homework – s-shredded!" They escorted her up the stairs, shutting their dorm door with a loud _boom_.

Peter wore a worried frown, "I hope she's alright."

"Me too," agreed Remus, taking out a fresh piece of parchment from his satchel, "Perhaps we should write a strongly worded letter to the student who did this. Girls these days are so petty, it's unbelievable. Who would rip one's bag? And homework, too!"

A bored voice answered, "You're so clues sometimes, Lupin, it's unbelievable." Sirius took his boots off the round, wooden table and gave him a meaningful look, as if that would explain everything. Realising this fault, he added on, "It wasn't a _girl_ that attacked Evans. See –"

"Who?" snapped James, patience wearing thin, "I bet you ten galleons they're from Slytherin. How dare they reduce my Lily-flower to tears! I'll hex them into the next century. And then I'll kill them. And then I'll hex their ashes. And then I'll bring them back to life just to kill them again. And then –"

"That would be pretty difficult considering they don't have a corporeal body." Sirius cut in, miffed about being interrupted.

"Blimey, somebody's already _killed_ them?" gasped Peter, looking outraged. "Word sure goes out fast!"

"I don't how I put up with you three." Sirius bit out impatiently. "Follow me."

* * *

The door to the girls' bathroom budged open after an unnecessary kick delivered by James, and they stepped in. A group of stalls held one side of the wall, and there was a row of faucets decorating the opposite stretch of wall, a long, slightly chipped mirror hanging above.

Remus advised they make a plan before executing the deadly mission, and the others wholly agreed. Sirius, Peter and Remus would hide under the invisibility cloak, gathering Lily's things, whilst James would face off with the ghost.

It seemed to be a fair plan.

Moaning Myrtle, having realised she had company, straightened up from her position on top of a stall's door and gave James a questioning look. "You're not a girl." Her voice was high and shrill, like someone who inhaled a bit of helium, and she glared at him behind her wide, circular glasses. "Get out of here!"

"Aww, come now, don't be so mean. Let's get to know each other first, yeah? Then you can insult me however much you like."

Myrtle scoffed, and floated towards him. Her body was pearly white and a tinge transparent, and James could vaguely see right through her. She was wearing an old set of the Hogwarts uniform and the crest on her side said she was from Ravenclaw. Her hair was in pigtails, and her fringe looked like it was cut by herself using safety scissors.

She sniffed.

"Get lost!" she repeated, looking more agitated. "This is _my _bathroom, you got that? And I don't want to be friends." She huffed, and crossed her arms. "I know you're type; after you shower me with compliments, you're going to throw things at me. You probably have an audience hiding under an, oh, I don't know, an invisible cloak right over there." She pointed towards where the rest of the Marauders were hiding, and they stiffened immediately. "But you're a boy, and boys are stupid, so that's out of the question." They relaxed.

James frowned, "What? Why would anyone throw things at you? You're pretty, you're smart _and_ you're a supernatural. You're every man's dream!"

Myrtle looked surprise. She giggled, "Really?"

"Of course," James wished they'd hurry up already, he didn't think he could hold on any longer.

The ghost drifted so close over to James, he could practically feel the cool, icy air shimmering around her. "Why don't we-" she giggled again, and James was tempted to just drop this operation and run for it. Not even Evans was worth being sexually harassed... by a ghost.

Thankfully, before James could even cry out for him mum, there was a loud stomp by the door, followed by rhythmic claps, a low whistle and a girlish giggle.

Their signal!

James stepped back from Myrtle, who was batting her eyelashes like it was her job, and smiled shakily, "I hate to cut this short, Myrtle, but I, sadly, have to go. School, you know? Prevents us from having fun,"

"Will you come back?"

"Do you even need to ask? Seriously, do you think I'm that much of a prat? Myrtle, I'm hurt!"

"But-"

"Shhhh!" James held a finger to his lips, and shook his head slowly. "We'll see what I can do. You're trust for me is shockingly nonexistent. It will take me some time to get over this." He pulled open the door and exited just as she called:

"Goodbye, my love!"

James glared at the rest of his friends, daring them to say a word.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to **Hpdwlotr24, HoangMai**, **Remus' daughter**, **shadowkat678**, **snowflakecake** and **jedikhaleesi  
**for reviewing!

- _James fumes _-

James: And thanks for posting this. I thought you loved me.

Peter: Myrtle loves you.

James: AAAARGH!

- _James throws computer monitor at Peter in a fit of rage -_


End file.
